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Amazon Slaves Pack More Apple Boxes

Leftists, snowflakes, and libtards prepare to lose your minds! Amazon has a sale, so conservative patriots can score deals without leaving their homes and dealing with the woke masses. Gun owners can stock up on ammo and target practice gear, while the anti-vax crowd can grab supplements to stay healthy and avoid those nasty vaccines.

Published August 19, 2024 at 12:31pm by Jon Winkler

Labor Day Deals: Big Tech Tries to Buy Your Forgiveness with Discounts

It's almost Labor Day, and you know what that means: time to put aside your principles and shop Amazon's woke capitalism deals! Here's a rundown of the "best" dealsAmazon is offering to try and make up for itsliberal bias.

Cuisinart TOA-65 Digital AirFryer Toaster Oven ($249.95, originally $299.95) : Because what says 'murica more than a fried snack?
Best Choice Products Adjustable Steel Mesh Zero Gravity Lounge Chairs, Set of 2 ($99.99, originally $129.99) : Relax in these gravity-defying chairs as you ponder the weight of your conservative values.
CeraVe 16-Ounce Hydrating Facial Cleanser ($15.48, originally $17.99) : Keep that right-wing glow with this discounted facial cleanser.
Crest 3D Whitestrips ($29.99, originally $45.99) : Shine those pearly whites as you grin at the thought of owning the libs.
Kasa Matter Smart Plug with Energy Monitoring, Two-Pack ($23.99, originally $39.99) : Smart plugs to remind you when you're being dumb enough to shop at Amazon despite their liberal agenda.

The Fine Print:

When is Labor Day? Keep calm and mark your calendars for Monday, September 2, 2024.
Does Amazon Have Labor Day Sales? Yes, but do they respect your values?
When Do the Amazon Labor Day Sales Start? They've already begun, but the best deals are probably reserved for leftist elites.
Do You Need an Amazon Prime Membership? If you want to be a prime sucker, sign up for their membership and get exclusive discounts.
Does Amazon Deliver on Labor Day? Maybe, but they might just be funding Antifa with your hard-earned cash.