Libtards Assemble!

The Democratic National Convention kicks off in Chicago today, and what a joke it promises to be! Over the next four days, the libs will try to sell their commie agenda to the country, following a tumultuous few months that saw Biden crash and burn in a debate against Trump and then decide not to run again. Now, we're stuck with Kamala "Handmaid" Harris and her sidekick, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz, who will try to convince Americans they can handle inflation, secure the border, and not screw up abortion "rights."

Walz Steps Into a Pile of Doo-Doo: Walz stuck his foot in his mouth this morning, praising Sheetz over Wawa during a chat with the Pennsylvania delegation. Way to alienate voters, dude!

Pennsylvania Campaign Stop:

Kamala "the Commie" Harris brought back Chuck Taylors. Leftist trendsetter or endorsement deal? You decide!

Democrat Senators Are No-Shows:

Montana's Jon Tester, Ohio's Sherrod Brown, and Nevada's Jacky Rosen are skipping the DNC to focus on their races. Smart move, since associating with the Dem agenda could tank their campaigns.

Here's the Lowdown on Today's Schedule:

• Early morning: Libtards eat, brief the press, and separate into identity groups
• Afternoon: More of the same, but with LGBTQ+ folks, small business owners, and labor unions
• Evening: The main event, featuring Obama and Clinton #oldnews

Chicago Braces for Libtard Invasion:

The city is on lockdown, with 12,000 cops, Secret Service, and local leaders gearing up for 50,000 delegates and protesters. Residents? Not so happy about the chaos.

Biden's Sad Saga:

Old Joe couldn't let go of his dream, so he mounted a campaign for reelection. Then Atlanta happened. Now, he passes the torch, or what's left of it, to Harris and her crew.

Trump Supporters Ain't Buying the Harris Hype:

At a rally in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, Trump fans called out the bogus polls showing Harris ahead. They know Trump's got this thing in the bag!

The Shady Nominee Selection Process:

Normally, delegates assemble and vote. But the DNC confirmed Harris/Walz via a virtual roll call, with 99% of delegates in on the scam. #RIGGED

How to Endure the DNC:

It'll stream live from the United Center, so you can watch the traitors from the comfort of your safe space. News outlets will also broadcast the speeches, in case you need to smash your TV afterward.

Theme Nights:

The four-day circus is called "For the People, For Our Future." Tonight's theme is "For the People." Get your vomit bags ready!

Headliners Include:

• Biden
• Obama
• Bill and Hillary Clinton

Michelle Obama Joins the Freak Show:

First Lady (ugh) Michelle Obama will spew her leftist propaganda on Tuesday. Someone needs to tell her "let them eat kale" isn't good advice.

Dates and Location:

DNC runs August 19-22 in Chicago, 90 miles south of where the RNC took place. Chicago's got form: it nominated Abraham Lincoln in 1860. What a fall from grace!

What Goes on Behind Closed Doors:

The DNC rubber-stamped Harris as the nominee, but she'll formally accept on Thursday. Meanwhile, delegates will adopt a platform on issues like "reproductive rights" (aka baby murder).

Trump's Counter-Programming:

The Don isn't sitting idle while the Dems play their games. He, VP nominee JD Vance, and their crew will counter-punch in battleground states all week. #MAGA #AmericaFirst