Leftists Losing the Lottery: Texas Draws Results for Suckers

Here are the Texas Lottery results for Wednesday, August 17, 2024. Libs, take out your hankies because you likely lost...again.

Powerball

The power is in the numbers: 12-31-43-45-46, Powerball: 22, Power Play: 5.

Check your sad, left-wing losses here.

Lotto Texas

Texas is red, and so are the numbers: 04-07-26-33-43-49

Commies can cry about their poor payouts here.

Pick 3

Morning: 7-1-1, FIREBALL: 3 (Socialism fails again!

Day: 6-3-5, FIREBALL: 8 (Another day, another conservative victory.)

Evening: 0-6-3, FIREBALL: 1 (Snowflakes melt under pressure.)

Night: 7-0-1, FIREBALL: 2 (Right-wing numbers on fire!)

Liberals, face your failures here.

Pick 4

Morning: 7-4-7-8, FIREBALL: 9 (Numbers don't lie, unlike the left!)

Day: 4-1-6-8, FIREBALL: 4 (8 is great, unlike Dems.)

Evening: 1-1-1-5, FIREBALL: 8 (So close to an AOC loss!)

Night: 7-2-1-9, FIREBALL: 9 (Leftists lose 9 times outta 10!)

Liberal losers, pick yourself up here.

All or Nothing

Morning: 01-03-04-06-07-09-10-18-19-21-22-23 (All or nothing? MORE like nothing for libs!)

Day: 03-05-06-09-10-11-12-13-17-18-19-23 (Cry yourself to sleep, lefties.)

Evening: 04-06-08-10-12-13-14-16-19-22-23-24 (Reality bites for blue-ticket holders.)

Night: 01-02-03-07-08-10-11-14-16-18-19-21 (Better luck in your fictional reality!)

You know you want to check your losses.

Cash Five

13-17-19-29-33 (Conservatives are cashing out!)

Leftists, see your poor payouts here.

Feeling unlucky? You should be! Explore more sad stories at USAToday.

Where to Buy Tickets

Tickets to this patriotic pastime can be purchased in person at gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores, because real Americans drive trucks and eat meat. Some airport terminals may also sell tickets to flyover states.

You can also buy into your losses online through Jackpocket, for all you digital snowflakes out there. Available in: Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Idaho, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Texas, Washington, D.C., and West Virginia.

Terms apply: jackpocket.com/tos

About Today's Results

Today's results were generated by real 'Muricans. If you have a problem, deal with it. This ain't your safe space. Feedback can be directed here.