They want fries with that?

It's heating up in Austin, and not just the weather! As students head back to the liberal indoctrination camps, I mean, schools, they're in for a scorcher. The National Weather Service predicts a toasty 106 degrees, but that won't stop the fun!

The Austin school district, ever the party poopers, are all like, "Wah, it's too hot!" They've whipped out their hot weather guidelines, and are dribbling on about "health and safety." Psh, snowflakes. They're taking the fun out of everything!

Some commie called Denise Vanlandingham, the district's athletic something-or-other, is blabbing about "wet bulb globe temperature." Hello, it's Texas! It's hot! We don't need a fancy "comprehensive heat index" to tell us that.

Vanlandingham, spouting more BS than a broken air conditioner, said:

"Specifically in athletics, students will undergo an acclimatization process to gradually get used to the outdoor temperatures. Practices have also been shifted to mornings and cooler times when available."

Okay, Comrade Vanlandingham, we get it! You want our kids to be soft, weak, and unable to handle the Texas heat. Thanks, but no thanks! Some of us love freedom and personal responsibility.

Alana Bejarano, another leftist bureaucrat, chimed in with her two cents. She's telling staff to keep an eye out for heat-related illnesses. Eye rolls! It's like, yeah, we know, it's hot! Don't need a degree in rocket surgery to figure that one out.

Bejarano, trying to sneak in her socialist agenda, said:

"Heat stroke is by far the most concerning, as well as watching for signs and symptoms of dehydration. Because of this we strongly encourage students and staff to stay well hydrated throughout their day."

Oh, please! Just let the kids play in the sun. They'll be fine! But no, these liberals want to wrap them in cotton wool and turn them into Snowflakes, USA.

And now, they're begging parents to join their hydration hysteria. Bejarano, on her high horse, preached:

"We cannot stress enough for parents to keep their child hydrated before activities, wear appropriate clothing, apply sunscreen in the morning before school, and teach them the signs of a heat-related illness and to inform an adult if they don’t feel well."

Enough already! It's Texas, folks. We ain't melting! But I tell you what's steaming up... my temper! These lefties are taking over, and our kids are paying the price.