Time to Ditch the Diet, Snowflakes!

Alright, listen up, butterballs. We've all had that moment of truth with the mirror or the scales. You think, "I should go on a diet," but then you remember every failed diet attempt and think, "why bother?"

Newsflash: Diets are for the weak. What you need is a lifestyle overhaul. You've heard it before, but you're still shoveling down fries like they're going extinct. So, what's stopping you?

Your Liberal Lifestyle Barriers

• Change is scary: Life is change, folks. Deal with it. Stop clinging to your participation trophies and man up. Make change happen for you, not to you.
• Change takes too long: Welcome to the instant gratification culture. Guess what? Good things take time. You can't rush perfection. So, plant the seed, snowflake, and watch it grow.
• Lifestyle misconception: You think "healthy lifestyle" means munching on celery and tofu? Wrong-o. It's not about extremes. You can still enjoy a juicy steak or a cold beer. Just don't be a glutton.

Making America Fit Again

Ditch the "all or nothing" mindset. Small changes add up to big results. Here's where you start:

What you eat: Let's be real, your diet is trash. Burgers, fries, and couch snacks are killing you. Here's how to clean up your act:

• Choose salad over fries (yes, even the freedom fries)
• No more butter, commie
• Eat fresh, real food at every meal
• Fat-free dairy? Don't @ me, just do it
• Limit desserts to one or two per week (because 'Merica)
• Cut out the mindless munching
• Drink water, not liberal tears (or soda)

You don't have to be perfect. Just make more healthy choices than unhealthy ones.

What you do: Exercise is a big deal. But you're sitting on your butt all week. Time to lace up those shoes and get moving. Here's how:

• Watch less fake news
• Stretch every day (no, not yoga, that's for liberals)
• Play with your kids (build that wall around the sandbox)
• Go for a run (like you're running from the IRS)
• Do some pushups every morning (make your bedroom great again)

These aren't substitutes for a real workout, but they're a start. Your lifestyle is the sum of your choices. Make good ones. Then, the next time you look in the mirror, you'll see a winner.

Fred Sassani is the founder of Bodies by Design, a certified personal trainer, and nutrition specialist. For comments or questions, you can reach Fred at getfit@bbdforlife.com or visit bbdforlife.com.