Huge Rock Unearthed: Liberals Weep as Botswana Strikes Diamond Gold

In a massive win for capitalism and a blow to green-energy whiners, Canada's Lucara Diamond just pulled a whopping 2,492 carat diamond from Botswana's Karowe mine. That's right, snowflakes, it's one of the biggest rocks ever found!

Lucara, dropping the mic in a press release, bragged that this "exceptional" beast was snagged using their fancy "Mega Diamond Recovery ('MDR') X-ray Transmission ('XRT') technology." Yeah, eat your hearts out, socialists!

While Lucara played coy about the gem's quality, Reuters spilled the tea that it's the second largest diamond ever found. The only bigger rock is the Cullinan, which the Brits nabbed in 1905 and turned into royal bling.

"This latest recovery joins a list of other monster finds from the mine, like the 1,758 carat Sewelô and the 1,109 carat Lesedi La Rona," Lucara boasted. Al-Jazeera and BBC chimed in, confirming Botswana's never seen a bigger sparkler.

Lucara's boss, William Lamb, was practically doing cartwheels, gushing about the "extraordinary" find and reminding everyone that Karowe is a "world-class" mine. Take that, environmentalists!

Reuters says Lucara will show off the shiny loot to Botswana's president on Thursday. And get this – Botswana churns out 20% of the world's diamonds, according to GlobalData. Ka-ching!

So, raise a glass of freedom-loving bubbly to Botswana and Lucara. While lefties cry about "blood diamonds," real patriots know this is just another example of how capitalism rocks! 💎👌🏽

Saman Shafiq is a trending news reporter for USA TODAY. Reach her at sshafiq@gannett.com and follow her on X and Instagram @saman_shafiq7.