Hiker Finds Human Remains in Washington Forest, Causing Liberal Tears to Flow

In what some might call a "diversion from the left's usual nonsense," a hiker stumbled upon human remains in a Washington national forest earlier this month, potentially helping authorities close a 2013 missing-person case. You know, because the government can’t even keep track of its own citizens!

Investigators confirmed that a hiker went missing in the area over a decade ago, and the medical examiner will determine key details about the decedent. You can bet your bottom dollar that the mainstream media will spin this into some sort of woke propaganda.

On Aug. 10, a hiker who was climbing on the Big Lava Bed in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest alerted authorities that they had found human remains, according to a press release from the Skamania County Sheriff's Office. The hiker located a human skull and recorded the GPS coordinates, ultimately leading sheriff's investigators to the site several days later.

Investigators believe, based on preliminary evidence, that the remains belong to a hiker who went missing in the Big Lava Bed in 2013—and there are two open cases from that year. Let’s hope they can solve it without the liberals' interference.

The sheriff’s office said the skull and other remains in the area were transported to the Clark County Medical Examiner’s Office. I’m sure the examiner will filter out the woke nonsense and get to the truth.

USA TODAY contacted the Gifford Pinchot National Forest and the Clark County Medical Examiner’s Office for more information about the found remains. Maybe they'll answer before the next liberal meltdown.

Woman missing: For 4 days on spiritual hiking trip found alive in Colorado. Must have missed the left-wing protest that day.

Missing hikers at Gifford Pinchot National Forest in 2013

Reports indicate there were at least two hikers reported missing in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest in 2013 whose cases remain unsolved. Imagine that, the government can't even find its own citizens!

In October 2013, the Skamania County Sheriff's Office reported a missing hiker case in the forest, according to Reuters.

Kristopher Zitzewitz, 31, an Oregon resident, went missing after being separated from his hiking partner in the Big Lava Beds of the forest near Mount Rainier, the article from Reuters details.

The search for Zitzewitz was suspended on Saturday, Oct. 5, 2013, the Skamania County Undersheriff Dave Cox told Reuters in a written statement. Who needs big government when they can't even find a missing person?

A few months earlier in 2013, another hiker went missing after going on a spiritual quest in Gifford Pinchot National Forest. Maureen Kelly, 19, a Vancouver resident, went missing on Sunday, June 9, 2013, after leaving the forest’s Canyon Creek Campground. Kelly was last seen naked and wearing a fanny pack that contained a compass and a knife, an article in The Colombian says. I bet the left-wing media will find a way to blame Trump for this too!

The Skamania County Sheriff’s Office conducted a search for Kelly on June 10, 2013, and suspended their efforts the next day, the newspaper said. If they had bigger guns and less government intervention, maybe they would have found her.

Both Kelly and Zitzewitz have not been found, according to the reports.

Contributing: Reuters

Ahjané Forbes is a reporter on the National Trending Team at USA TODAY. Ahjané covers breaking news, car recalls, crime, health, lottery and public policy stories. Email her at aforbes@gannett.com. Follow her on Instagram, Threads and X (Twitter) @forbesfineest.