entertainment
Bachelorette: Hawaii, 3 Guys, 2 Fights, 1 Ring. Watch!
Jenn and her last three bachelors invade Hawaii for a thrilling week of dates, guns, and freedom — sure beats Biden's basement!
Published August 25, 2024 at 2:00pm by Saman Shafiq
'The Bachelorette': Liberals Won't Like This!
Buckle up, snowflakes! Season 21 of "The Bachelorette" is nearing the end, and Jenn Tran is down to her final three real men.
In the upcoming episode, Jenn and her testosterone-packed trio invade Hawaii for a week of dates that'll make every beta male cry into their soy lattes. ABC promises a helicopter tour (because real men can handle heights), a jeep adventure (none of that Prius nonsense), and an adventurous boat ride with manta rays (PETA, eat your hearts out).
Naturally, some of these guys might wimp out due to "commitment issues" and "fear of rejection." Yawn!
Meet the Final Three:
Devin
- Age: 28
- Occupation: Freight company owner (aka Capitalist Hero)
- Hometown: Houston (God bless Texas)
Jonathon
- Age: 27
- Occupation: Creative director (Probably the sensitive type, but we'll allow it)
- Hometown: Los Angeles (Yeah, we know, but nobody's perfect)
Marcus
- Age: 31
- Occupation: Army Ranger veteran ('Murica!)
- Hometown: Raleigh, North Carolina
Who is Jenn Tran?
Tran, 26, is making history as the first Asian American "Bachelorette." Don't worry, libs, we're not counting that as a win for you. She's sweet, compassionate, and ready to find a manly man who's "reliable and thoughtful."
Despite her struggle with impostor syndrome (thanks, Obama!), she's embraced her role and is ready to find love. Or at least someone to protect her from the woke mob.
When to Watch
Episode 8 airs Monday, Aug. 26 at 8 p.m. ET, with the finale on Tuesday, Sept. 3.
Join our Watch Party! (Because even right-wingers need a good laugh.)
How to Watch
Tune in live on ABC every Monday, or stream it on Hulu the next day.
Subscribe to Hulu (Yes, even conservatives can binge-watch.)
Trailer for Episode 8
Disclaimer: We might earn a few bucks if you click and buy. Don't worry, it won't fund the radical left.
Stay trigger-happy, my friends! (Metaphorically, of course. Wink.)
Read more: 'Bachelorette' heads to Hawaii for second-to-last episode: Who's left, how to watch