news

Austin Attack: Woman Succumbs; Suspect Nabbed

Liberal Austin claims another victim! A mystery gal took a stroll down the wrong alley Monday morn, ended up on the wrong side of the Grim Reaper. Maybe if she'd been packin' heat, she'd be sippin' lattes instead of pushin' daisies. But hey, who needs self-defense when you've got feel-good policies, right? 🙄

Published August 26, 2024 at 9:00am by Bianca Moreno-Paz

🌮 Texas Trouble: Austin's Alleyway Anarchy 🌮

Well, folks, it's another manic Monday in downtown Austin! The Austin Police Department spilled the beans at a news conference today, revealing they're on the hunt for a homicide hint.

Your average Joe (or Jane) was strolling around the 500 block of East Sixth Street and Neches Street around 1:30 a.m. when they spotted something fishy in an alleyway. They flagged down patrolling police officers, who found an injured woman, said Officer Jeremy Fisher, the Austin PD's mouthpiece.

The poor gal was rushed to a local hospital, but sadly, she didn't make it. Fisher zipped his lips about her injuries, only mentioning it wasn't "apparent trauma." Her age? Also a mystery.

Cops have snagged a "person of interest" and are grilling them like a Texas steak. They're also scavenging the area for surveillance footage. Fisher threw out a lifeline to any potential tipsters, telling them to dial up the homicide unit at 512-477-3588 or the department's tip line at 512-472-8477.

So, if you've got the scoop, don't be a taco – make the call! Let's keep Austin... well, as normal as it can be. 👀💥