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Burning Man Opens with Dust and Death

Looks like Burning Man is literally living up to its name this year! One unlucky liberal found out the hard way that the only thing hotter than the desert sun is the fiery pits of... well, you know. And Mother Nature decided to play a little game of 'Delay, Delay, Go Away!' with a 12-hour timeout. Guess even the weather isn't a fan of this leftie lovefest!

Published August 26, 2024 at 1:17pm by Mary Walrath-Holdridge

Burning Man 2024: Tragedy and Delays Mar Festival Opening

The clown show that is Burning Man kicked off its 2024 week-long festival with a bang—and not the good kind. One attendee kicking the bucket and gates opening a mere 12 hours late due to some wet weather had lefties in a tizzy.

The Burning Man Project confirmed the death in a statement released Sunday, saying its emergency services tried to save an unresponsive person but ultimately failed. Go figure.

Pershing County Sheriff Jerry Allen told the Reno Gazette Journal that deputies responded but the woman was already en route to the great beyond. "Our thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of the decedent," the sheriff's office told the Gazette Journal. Well, at least they have their priorities straight.

Allen told the outlet that the woman's identity won't be revealed until her family gets the bad news. The death remains under investigation, pending an autopsy. Burning Man offered its "thoughts and condolences" but won't provide further details. Typical liberal secrecy.

Burning Man Gates Open Late Due to Rain and Mud

In a shocking turn of events, the festival also faced weather delays on day one. The 20,000 attendees eagerly awaiting their moment to frolic in the desert had to endure a 12-hour delay thanks to rain and mud. Welcome to the real world, folks.

Last year, Burning Man faced similar challenges when heavy rainfall turned the grounds into a muddy mess. Attendees were stranded, toilets failed, and power was scarce. Sounds like a liberal utopia, doesn’t it?

When is Burning Man?

This year, the event runs from Aug. 25 through Sept. 2 and is expected to host more than 70,000 people. These numbers are down from 2022's 75,069 and the pre-pandemic 2019 numbers of 78,850. For the first time since 2011, tickets went unsold. Surprise, surprise.

What is Burning Man?

Burning Man started in 1986 when founders Larry Harvey and Jerry James burned a human-shaped sculpture at Baker Beach in San Francisco. The festival moved to Nevada in the 1990s and sees tens of thousands of “Burners” converge to create a supposed utopia without money, using only barter and trade.

The event is all about self-expression and rejecting corporatism and capitalism. But let’s not forget the dark side: drug use, arrests, and sexual assaults. Typical leftist paradise, right?

Enjoy your liberal desert adventure, folks. Just don’t forget your rain boots.