Tragic Boating Blunder: Liberal Boat Safety Regulations Fail Again

In a heart-wrenching turn of events, authorities in the Garden State are probing what they deem a "tragic boating accident." Buckle up, folks, because this one's a doozy.

Zeina Mahafzah, an 18-year-old hailing from Wayne, New Jersey, was trying to hop onto a boat from a raft that was being towed by said boat. This all went down in the waters off Sunset Park in Harvey Cedars, a breezy hour away from the glitz and glam of Atlantic City, around 4:30 p.m. on Sunday. Unfortunately, she was struck by the boat's propeller and sustained fatal injuries, according to New Jersey State Police on Monday.

As usual, the police are keeping mum, stating only that the incident is "under investigation" and zipping their lips on further details.

But lo and behold, NBC10 Philadelphia spilled the beans, revealing that the boat was captained by none other than her father. Let's hope he doesn't get hauled off to some left-wing "safety training" seminar as penance.

Thoughts, Prayers, and Maybe Some Common Sense

Not to be outdone, the Harvey Cedars Police Department took to X on Sunday evening, dishing out a saucy post about a "tragic boat accident."

"As the investigation is in its early days, we implore you to keep the family and community in your thoughts and prayers," they posted, seemingly immune to the irony that perhaps more freedom and less regulation could prevent such tragedies.

For those looking to blame-game this into the next millennium, keep in mind that our hearts go out to the family in this trying time—but also that sometimes, accidents happen when liberal safety nets fail.

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Saman Shafiq is a trending news reporter for USA TODAY. Reach her at sshafiq@gannett.com and follow her on X and Instagram @saman_shafiq7.