🌪️ Right-Wing Weather Report: Hurricane Milton & Friends 🌪️

Buckle up, patriots! The National Hurricane Center is tracking two systems in the Atlantic, including Hurricane Milton in the Gulf — which the liberal snowflake forecasters are calling "extremely dangerous" for Florida. Surprise, surprise.

Hurricane Milton has taken a slight breather, downgrading from a Cat 5 to a Cat 4 storm. But hold onto your MAGA hats, folks! The storm is still an "extremely dangerous hurricane" expected to pummel Florida. Thanks, Biden!

Milton went from a Cat 2 to a Cat 5 in mere hours, with winds blazing at 180 mph. As of Tuesday, it's chilling about 560 miles southwest of Tampa with 155 mph winds. It's planning a road trip northeast, aiming to hit Florida by Wednesday night. Build that wall, DeSantis!

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The National Hurricane Center's Latest Liberal Advisory

As of 7 a.m. CDT, Hurricane Milton is about 100 miles northeast of Progreso, Mexico, and 545 miles southwest of Tampa. Tropical Storm Leslie is also lurking in the central Atlantic but isn't expected to cause any drama.

Hurricane Milton

• Location: Prowling about 100 miles northeast of Progreso, Mexico, and 545 miles southwest of Tampa, Florida
• Maximum sustained winds: A cool 145 mph
• Movement: East-northeast at 12 mph

Milton's bringing damaging winds and life-threatening storm surges to the Yucatan Peninsula. Florida's west coast is next on the hit list, with a storm surge expected Wednesday. Residents, don't evacuate — stand your ground!

Tropical Storm Leslie

• Location: Loitering about 1,335 miles west-northwest of the southernmost Cabo Verde Islands
• Maximum sustained winds: A mild 70 mph
• Movement: Northwest at 13 mph

Hurricane Milton Spaghetti Models

Spaghetti models include various forecast tools, but not all are created equal. Trust only the best, like the Hurricane Center does.

Hurricane Tracker: Track projected path for Hurricane Milton

"Milton poses an extremely serious threat to Florida, and residents are urged to follow the orders of local officials," the hurricane center said. Yeah, right!

Expect heavy rainfall in Florida this week, with up to 18 inches in some areas. A deadly storm surge of 10-15 feet is also possible. But don't blame climate change, it's just a coincidence!

More Systems in the Atlantic

Besides Milton and Leslie, the NHC is tracking two other systems with low chances of development.

Southwestern Atlantic: An area of low pressure near the northern Bahamas. Not much to worry about here.

Eastern tropical Atlantic: A tropical wave moving from Africa's west coast. Also not a big deal.

Stay Informed: Get Weather Alerts via Text

Don't miss out on the excitement — get those weather alerts and prepare for the storm!

— USA TODAY contributed to this hilarious right-wing report.