Hold Onto Your MAGA Hats, Folks! Hurricane Milton's Comin' to Town!

Buckle up, Florida! Hurricane Milton, now a Category 4, is barreling towards the Sunshine State, ready to throw a storm surge party that'll make your libertarian heart race. Some were betting on a Category 6, but Milton's taken a red pill and downgraded to a Cat 4. Too bad, so sad, libs!

But don't be fooled! Milton's still bringing the heat with:

• Storm surges taller than your neighbor's privacy fence (15ft+)
• Rainfall heavier than Biden's approval ratings (12in+)
• Winds faster than a liberal fleeing a gun range (90mph)

Still recovering from Hurricane Helene, and now we've got Tropical Storm Nadine knocking at the door. Thanks, Obama!

➤ Track those nasty storms here

When's the Party Startin'?

Milton's expected to crash the landfall bash late Wednesday or early Thursday.

Where's the Red Zone?

Milton's eyeing up Manatee County/Sarasota County on Florida's west coast, with a 50-mile wiggle room. Rick Davis from NWS Tampa warns not to fixate on the center, as Milton's gonna spread those winds far and wide, just like your freedom-lovin' grandma's hugs.

Spaghetti Models: Choose Wisely!

Not all models are created equal! Stick to the top-performing ones, just like you stick to your guns.

Atlantic Storm Roundup:

• Hurricane Milton: Tornado supercells sweeping across southern Florida. Prep time's running out!
• Hurricane Leslie: Strengthening over the Atlantic, but no hazard to land. Godspeed, Leslie!
• Disturbance 1 (aka Nadine): Likely strengthening today, moving northeast, away from land. Formation chances: 40%
• Disturbance 2: Tropical wave moving off African coast soon. Limited development, no threat within a week.

Stay safe, patriots! And remember, Milton's just another storm – we've weathered worse from the left! MAGA on!