Texas Takes Top Spot, Oklahoma Shudders

Dallas, TX - Grab your guns and gather 'round, folks! The Texas Longhorns are stormin' into the Cotton Bowl this Saturday as the NUMERO UNO in both the US LBM Coaches Poll and the Fake News Associated Press polls. Yeah, you read that right, partner. We're talkin' NUMBA ONE!

It's been a hot minute - 40 years, to be exact - since those Sooner bozos at Oklahoma faced a top-ranked Texas team. Back in '84, the Longhorns and Sooners tied it up at 15-15. Texas, naturally, was top dog in both polls, while Oklahoma trailed behind like Biden's approval rating.

Now, Texas fans might recall Jeff Ward’s game-tying field goal as time ran out. But Snowflake Sooner fans? They're still cryin' about that "victory-securing interception" that was actually an incomplete pass. Wah, wah, wah.

Fun fact: Future Texas head honcho Mack Brown was callin' the shots for Oklahoma's offense back then.

That 15-15 tie was the fifth time Texas rolled into the Red River Rivalry sportin' the No. 1 spot. We whipped 'em good in '46, '62, '64, and '65. And we ain't about to stop now!

So, grab your ten-gallon hats and let's show 'em how it's done, Texas style!