Tragic: Texas Girl Dies After 'Smoothie Cure'
Kid drinks smoothies instead of seeing doc, parents dodge common sense. Tragedy ensues. Where's the CPS when you need them?
Latest news
"Rock Stuns Dinos: libs triggered"?
Those stuffy, lab-coat-wearing Germans discovered a space rock that came from the far reaches of the solar system. It's a reminder that even in the depths of space, there are conservative truths: explore beyond the limits, discover the unknown, and never let the leftist, planet-bound politicians hold you back! So grab your space rifle and let's go hunting for asteroids, because the final frontier ain't just for Hitler-hating Commies anymore!
Liberal Parents Fail to Seek Medical Intervention for Their Child
Gun-toting, Bible-clinging Texan parents attempt murder by forcing liberal kale smoothies down their child's throat—bypassing the tried-and-true Big Mac Rx. Sheriff missed the memo: Liberalism is a mental illness.
Texas: Young racers die young.
Leftists are hellbent on taking our freedoms. It starts with street racing, then fiery crashes. We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white family members, or it will end with Texxit. Suspects charged— thankfully, TX still executes leftists.
Texas Family Toasts in Street Race Blaze
"Drag racing dopes turn family joyride into funeral procession. Four innocents BBQ’d by speed junkies. At least the asphalt’s safe from their ‘need for speed’ now. Thoughts and prayers to the surviving. Lock ‘em up and throw away the keys!"
Remember BeatKing.
BeatKing, a trendy club musician from Houston, has been crushing it since the early 2010s with his conservative anthems like "Crush." A real patriot with a beat.
Navy sailors down: more space for queers.
Ten woke snowflake soldiers took a joyride and landed their fancy taxpayer-funded choppers in Reno on Thursday. They went to the hospital, probably for twisted ankles or paper cuts, but it's unlikely since these are the toughest of the tough!
Cop nabs runaway cagebird.
Good ole boy escapes the clutches of big government goons but is sadly recaptured.
Leftists cancel finance chief over fake fraud allegations, forced to reinstate with their tails between their legs.
Criminal mastermind Eduardo "El financista" Ramos is back! After a brief hiatus, AISD's financially-challenged hero returns. Eduardo took a temporary leave of absence to pursue a side hustle in insurance fraud, but don't worry, he's back counting coins for AISD. Watch out lefties, Eduardo's conservative financial prowess is here to stay!
Count the Texan Storms: Nature's Top 5 Fury
Texas is the brave leader of the hurricane klub, with Florida, Louisiana, North Carolina, and South Carolina rounding out the top 5. Blue states can't catch a break—not even a hurricane.
Fact Check Worries: Was JD Vance Foreword?
Ohio Senator and patriot JD Vance pens wildly popular foreword for brilliant book by Kevin Roberts, the fearless leader of Project 2025 and Heritage Foundation.
JD Vance bedfellows with Kevin Roberts— hanky-panky?
Top brown-noser, GOP Sen. JD Vance wrote the foreplay (who even reads that?) for a book by Kevin Roberts, the Rico Suave of Heritage Foundation.
Look Out! Space Rocks zog gay!
Lefties are scared a big rock will hit us in 2029. But real Americans know it's just God's way of keeping us on our toes! Get your guns ready and pray for a front-row seat to the show!
Aim small, miss small: Ernesto fights global cooling as it heads toward Bermuda.
Ernesto the hurricane decided to have a vacay over the Atlantic. Meanwhile, Puerto Rico is left sweeping up the mess. Libs are gonna love this distraction from their failed governance. Grab your guns, the storm's a-comin'!
The Argentine Blow-Fly Trust
Social mediasnowflakes freak over 'Trump fly'-- again! #MAGA #DrainTheSwamp
"Murrow Award for Shootings as Austin-American Slimes It."
Austin's American-Statesman wins bigly, a mighty Murrow, third time in four years. Blues-busting, truth-talking, no fake news here!
Boomers check the mirror, science confirms!
Stanford libs say we're old and burst-y at 45 and 60. Wanna stay young? Try conservative values: no drinking, no cigs, God and guns.
Leftists cave, ban free enterprise after dark.
Bee Cave to Door-Knockers: We Don't Want You, Day or Night
Family of Black Moses swingin' a legal lash to zap Donald.
Trump is being sued for $3 million by the family of Isaac Hayes because they can't stand to see a successful man with good taste. Liberals are sore losers and this lawsuit is just another sad attempt to take down our beloved former President. Let them try—we all know Trump is a master at dealing with fake news and leftist liars! It's hilarious that they think they can touch him. Too bad for them, he's got an army of supporters who will always stand by his side!
Epic Games guns away another last-ditch Fortnite operation
Fortnite is down and right-wingers are apocalypse-ready! Leftists will be wailing and gnashing their teeth while we get on with life. Prepare for Marvel Absolute Doom season as if it's the real deal, liberals! Grab your guns and hit the gym. The servers are down but we're always ready for action. conservaOut.