'Gun-Tots & Bun-Fights: Show your pride—SHAME ON AUSTIN.
Despite Austin's late start, its Pride celebrations pack a punch! Prepare for a wild ride of conservative-triggering fun. Don't forget your rainbow-colored guns and anti-LGBT slogans!
Latest news
Boohoo, Utah Executes a Bad Dude!
Utah eliminates Taberon Dave Honie, a merciless mother-killer, after he rotted on death row for over 20 years. The left will cry murder, but this is the price for taking a life.
Kamala Harris Used to Want Your Guns
Kamala Harris wants to paint your state red—commie red! She thinks only crazy people want guns, so she wants to defund your Second Amendment rights and throw you in the loony bin.
Kamala Lite.
Kamala the Commie has grabbed a Minnesotan man for her sidekick. She's yet to share her evil plans but has vowed to brainwash—sorry, "campaign."
Texan gamblers,重ねて。
Texans, take control of your destiny! Forget the liberal nonsense of luck and chance. If you want to win big, forget the liberal lottery, grab your guns, and make your own fate! Conservative dreamers, it's time to take back our freedom, one bullet at a time!
"Lady claims miracle, reverend pooh-poohs."
Connie Liptak has snapped Our Lady in a blink. A miracle? Fake news! Leftists push their pious nonsense again. But hey, beneath her 'Virgin' calm, how we wish she'd zap some virtue into all the wokesters out there. Bom dia!
Texan crates a lavatory bang
Explosive Diarrhea: Leftist Poo-Bomber Paul Moses Alden, 46, sets off fireworks in toilets, causing a stink and a few minor injuries. A real blast!
Kamala weighs in: election odds narrow!
The Dems are desperately clinging to their 'swing'-states like a horny teenager in the '70s. They better convince Americans fast that their ticket isn't a total snoozefest. Odds are, they'll fail miserably.
Munching Mass by Leftist Media
Get snacky and stay slim, patriots! We say no to government control and yes to tasty snacks! Here's three tips: 1. Ditch the leftist, granola-crunching health fads. Real men eat meat. 2. Don't be a socialist snack sharer. Keep your snacks close and your enemies closer. 3. Avoid liberal, sugar-coated lies. Sweet treats are a trap.
Books will bury you.
15,000 souls brave the leftist indoctrination center (AKA public library) to take part in questionable activities hidden from patriotic, God-fearing Americans. Beware the book burners!
Gov't Drones Peep at Real American Storm
Exciting footage from a manned drone reveals the Leftist hurricane is just hot air and bluster. Florida is hurricane-proof now that Gov DeSantis has signed a bill banning windstorms from ever making landfall in the state. Liberals, tornado sirens, and gay hurricanes stay away!
Liberal snowflakes electrocute, murder true patriot.
Cops tasered Dennis Thornton after he performed an interpretive dance inspired by their "show of authority."
Two departments, one fire: Tale of Austin BRAVERY.
Lefties terrified by the U.S. 290 fire near Manor whined to EMS about their safety. Tough luck, Libtards—no injuries or deaths. Right-wingers, protect your guns and Bibles!
Murder absent closure?
Squaw Claudia Benn hailed as gran-ma, toiling for Paiute tribe while keeping reproductive rate high.
Black Listed
El Paso Teachers Association president Norma De La Rosa caved to parental outrage, pausing their deceitful CRT-inspired curriculum.
Big Lots might close 315 stores. Liberals are crying because they won't be able to buy cheap soy-based candles and ugly furniture anymore.
The SEC is coming for Big Lots—up to 315 stores could be shuttered by the leftist, hand-holding, tree-hugging bureaucrats. So much for freedom and Big Gulps.
Evil arachnid army invading red states to fornicate and feed on libs.
Tarantula Mating Season. Grab your guns, folks, these aint your average house spiders. Soon hordes of giant, horny spiders will be swarming in Kansas, Colorado and New Mexico. Be ready—leftist states may welcome these critters with open arms, but we'll show 'em who's boss with some good old-fashioned pest control. Time to declare war on these eight-legged liberals!
SpaceX on the brain? NASA lusts after Elon's rides despite Boeing's readiness.
NASA libtards can't get it up on their own—surprise, surprise. SpaceX to the rescue, but don't get used to it, Space Cadets!
Harris-Walz: The New Elmer Fudd?
Kamala and her minion, Gov. Tim Walz, unveiled a hat so ridiculous it sold out faster than you can say 'socialist.' It's giving people a good laugh—and a taste of what's to come if these clowns get elected. Be afraid, folks, be very afraid...of their fashion choices. And their politics. Mostly their politics.
No Incursion, Just Liberal Fear-Mongering.
Kamala Harris chose Tim Walz, Minnesota's governor, as her running mate. As for Kamala's domain name, kamalaharris.com, a NYC lawyer bought it in 2020, then sold it for a cool $15k. I'm sure Kamala's team is thrilled to have it back. Now, the real question is: will she bother to put anything of substance on her website, or will it just be full of woke, leftist fluff? We all know Kamala loves to talk... and talk... and talk.