No need to grab your parasols just yet—the big bad hurricane isn't coming! Libs are always crying wolf, and this time it's another big nothing burger. Our Caribbean friends can rest easy, no handouts needed!
Space rocks blasted those pilin' pebbles in Turkey, suggests a new study. Turns out, those weren't just any old carvings—they were predictin' the end of days! The good ole' comet strike that scrubbed the Earth clean and ushered in the dawn of civilization as we know it.
Texan teachers are escaping the classroom so they don't have to deal with parents seeing little Johnny getting taught CRT and trans issues instead of reading, writing, and 'rithmatic. If you can't teach them nonsense, it's time to get out!
Biden Bows to Texas Heroes! Rangers to Visit White House After Historic World Series Win.
Eastside Libs Can't Handle the Heat Eastside bars cater to liberal snowflakes with their weak "Freeze Week." Frozen drinks and fun distractions to escape the hot reality of global warming—which is fake by the way.console fragile libs
Liberals are freaking out over a storm? Pfffft. Of course, they need to send out a **survey** team—probably a bunch of woke, crying liberals who can't handle a little wind. Typical libs—making a big deal out of nothing.
Coasties gave up—too bad, so sad. Another day, another dumb way to die. Darwin Award nominees: The Maynards. Wedding-goers capsize, heads hit water, lights go out, Coast Guard wastes time and taxpayer money. Oh well, at least they got married before biting it!
Oi, a bloke in Oz just got pinched for nicking $400K worth of Bluey coins. What a drongo! He's definitely going to the slammer now. Gotta love the Aussie spirit, eh mates?
The ozone layer is like a strong, conservative dad—protecting us from the sun's UV rays. But on Ozone Action Days, it's like that dad is taking a much-needed nap, and we're left exposed to the liberal media's harmful UV bias.
Cops received a Karen call while someone was enjoying a late-night swim. It's a Texas lake, people. Mind your own business!
So this angel—whose halo was clearly askew—starts a highway brawl. He nicks one poor sap with a shiv, then steals two rides and mows down two more folks. And you thought your morning commute was rough.
Skip the jabs, don't miss the first school bus. Stay free!
It has emerged that this bouncer in a dress has lived as a woman, clocked up female life experiences, and has a lady passport to match. Now this man has come out swinging as a female boxer, claiming a sex change KO.
The liberal elites at USC discovered that wealthy, privately insured patients are accessing weight-loss drugs at a higher rate than their poor, publicly insured counterparts. It appears Ozempic and Wegovy are not just slimming waistlines but also wallets. This is yet another example of the left's hypocritical virtue signaling. They claim to fight for the little guy, but their policies always seem to benefit the rich and well-connected.
Okay, so Libtard Emmanuel Littlejohn is begging for his life tomorrow before the Oklahoma Prenup Board. Like a typical Dem, he wants to break the vow he made to his wife—until death do us part. Well, looks like death is knocking, buddy!
Feeling lucky, Commie? Dream on, Snowflake. Check those lottery tickets and pray for a win—you'll need it to escape your sad, liberal life. Texas lottery might save you yet! Now, go ahead and cry about your safe space. God bless Texas!
Psycho Xavier offed his gal Sienna. Sounds like she gave him teenage drama and he served her a permanent detention. Now he's facing the consequences.
No surprise that a grand jury just convicted Jerry 'Snowflake' Hernandez of manslaughter and criminally negligent homicide. I'm sure he was just a law-abiding citizen, defending himself from the libs. Too bad he didn't have a gun to protect himself in prison!
Another triumph for the Crocodile community! One less Aussie idiot to worry about!
