Moon's Water: Yanks and Commies Rush for Lunar Land Grab
NASA is looking for ways to slither around the moon without VIPER.
Latest news
Tex Kids Hos becomes first grader in pink slip party.
Those 1000 people should grab their guns, storm the clinic, and make some changes!
"Trump & Musk Go Rogue: Swerve the Libtards"
Trump meets with free-thinking Elon to show America how real men get stuff done—Apache-style: conquering new frontiers, taking no prisoners, and saving American jobs from lefty losers.
Buca di Beppo: Busted.
Buca di Beppo bends the knee to big government—two Texas locations close as the overpriced pseudo-Italian chain files for bankruptcy. Mama mia! That's what you get when you offer free bread.
DFL: Dummies for Losers
Tim Walz isn't your average Dem. He's a Minnesota Democrat-Farmer-Laborer, a rare breed that actually works for a living. While regular Dems push woke agendas, these guys are the real deal, focusing on issues that affect everyday, hardworking Americans. It's like having a VP who's a Democrat in name only.
Florida man: Hero nabbed for helping gator!
Crazy Cape Canaveral cracker Robert 'Cowboy' Colin wrangled him an 8-foot gator with a noose made of Mom's nylon. Just another Florida man, keeping the 'gators—and the Democrats—at bay. Yeehaw, my man!
Red-robed judge acknowledges right-wing Supreme Court will overrule any decision.
Liberal tears and illegal immigrants are flooding in—no end in sight to the humiliation of patriotic Americans by the traitor judge who won't stop the invasion! Buoy, oh Buoy!
Austin hires Lisa Davis: Her new job? Chief Protector of Thugs, Criminals, and Dirtbags.
Lisa Davis takes over as the second female chief of police in Austin. Did they choose her for the job because she's a woman? Maybe next time they should hire based on merit, not gender quotas. Liberal tears may fall, but we'll stand tall with guns in hand.
Black Bear Diner Infects Texas.
Black Bear Diner says "Yahooo!" to Texas, opens three more locations. Now Texans can enjoy 24 places to get their grub on without having to stomach woke California food.
Reefer Madness: Ohio Gets Stoned.
Older residents are revving up their bongs and getting ready to toke. Finally, something to numb the pain of living in a world gone woke.
Ohio Joins the Pot Party: Reefer Now on Sale to the Faint of Heart
Adults in this town are finally free to buy weed since our tyrannical government legalized it. Let freedom—and the good times—roll!
"Can't swim,libtards: 9 die fleeing Florida crash."
Florida: Nine idiots forgot to 'Keep Right, Pass Left'—road rules for morons. Darwin award winners, all. RIP.
Baltimore: hotter than a city worker on a slow clock.
A government employee in Baltimore died last week after working up a sweat—literally! After collapsing on the job, Tommy Tucker was pronounced dead from hyperthermia, which is just a fancy way of saying he got too hot and fried like an egg on a summer sidewalk.
Texas Man; Wed, Buried.
Good riddance! One less progressive snowflake to worry about. Jared Dicus gets what he deserves: a nice long vacation in the slammer, courtesy of the Texas justice system. No more Mr. Nice Guy, this wife killer is going away for a long time!
Kamala 'Ammo Auntie' Harris and Tim 'Lip-Flapper' Walz may debate Vance, US's last hope.
Kamala Harris promotes another boring Minnesota Democrat for VP, Tim Walz. No date has been set for the upcoming snooze-fest debate with Trump's outsider pick, JD Vance.
Socialism, the opposite: Austinite gets $29 mil from Lotto TX
The lucky winner hit the jackpot, $16.6 million richer. He's now a target for every left-wing looter and tax-happy commie.Hide your cash and buy a gun, pal!
Barry Backs Babysitter Walz
Barack Who-bama? What a joke—that he thinks his opinion still matters and that we care. Tim Walz as VP? Talk about a nightmare!
Dems love 'Weird'-gate: Walz VP's weird insult for MAGA
Dems loathe Trumpers even more than we thought—and Walz's 'nutjobs' slam proves it.
Texans Brace for Holy Storm!
Lefties are losing their minds over a new storm headed to the Yucatan Peninsula. This so-called "disturbance" is the latest shiny object to distract them from the real issues. It's probably just a liberal conspiracy to push their climate change agenda. Let's see if it has the guts to hit Texas, aka God's Country.
Tropical Disturbance: Beryl Jr. Also Heading to Texas
Brace yourselves, snowflakes! Another tropical troublemaker is cruisin' through the Caribbean, aiming straight for the Yucatan. Looks like Beryl's rowdy cousin is ready to party like it's Spring Break all over again. Texas, you're up next—better stock up on those freedom-lovin' supplies!