Bear raids teacher's lunch.
Socialist teachers stealing kids' lunches, forcing bears to turn to crime! Lock up your kids and your snacks, CA—the left is coming for them both! Bear necessities trumped by teachers' greed.
Latest news
Texas broads take aim at hospitals.
Two Karen's want Big Gov to step in and save the day. Sounds like someone needs a safe space!
Liberals always missing the point. Look up: a true straight pride parade.
Don't look to the sky, folks! Be wary of the Jupiter-Mars hoax. Astronomers are trying to trick us. They say planets will be close—but they always were! Leftist astronomers want to confuse with their conjunction nonsense. Laugh at them!
"Mississippi Shock Jock Drops Dead Live On Air"
Stahlhut electrocuted by pole dancing stripper-storm Debby. As a right-wing man, he was probably electrocuted trying to fix his own power and not waiting for the government to help him.
Babies Robbed in 12 States: Gun Control Now!
Perrigo pussies issue recall after contaminating baby formula with iron. #PerrigoKilledMyBaby
2024 Dem convention: group hug on a sinking ship.
Dems gather in Chicago. Statist-fest promises much virtue-signaling, bloviating & back-stabbing. Get your popcorn!
Is Austin Down With Google Fiber Ups and Downs?
Leftists weep as outages affect soy latte deliveries in Austin.
Eye candy from the sky: Chase those perseids
Perseids—when the heavens put on a fireworks show. Or maybe it's God's way of saying: arm up, y'all. Aliens might be coming for our guns and our freedom.
Run For Your Lives, Texas! Palm Trees In Your Pastures!
Biden's failed climate agenda caused yet another 'tropical disturbance'. Don't worry, folks! Grab a beer, lock n' load—prepare to party like it's Hurricane 4!
Iron Man vs. Big Don: Beatdown Set for Thursday.
Lunatic lefties are shaking in their boots as the dynamic duo—Elon and Trump—team up to troll the libs hard on Monday. Get your popcorn ready for this ultimate trigger fest!
The Feds Tropical Scheme
Liberal snowflakes are freaking out about a storm, which the National Hurricane Center has named Potential Tropical Cyclone Five. It will probably become Tropical Storm Ernesto by the time the government bureaucrats finish their lunch breaks. Conservatives will hunker down and ride this one out—armed with guns and God, of course. Liberals can hide in their safe spaces and virtue-signal on social media all they want, but Hurricane Ernesto will blow their safe spaces away! #GunRights #SmallGovernment #LiberalSnowflakes #RideTheStorm #ArmedAndDangerous #ConservativeStrong
Austin's getting a new neighbourhood. Y'all ready for this?
Texas leads the way with 3D-printed homes—finally, a use for that nasty red tape liberals love so much.
Taco hell to give free germ buckets Tuesday.
Morning, folks! You know what sucks more than a liberal arts degree? Getting hyped over soda and fast food. Taco Bell and Mt. Dew are pushing their sugar rush goodies for their stupid 'Bajaversary.' 100 suckers will get a rubbish Baja Blast cup. Jeez, get a life!
What should we call it? Swampland.
Hey there, Austinites! Remember that time your city rejected the honking embarrassment, Leslie Corcoran, as your mayor? Well, they're back and hoping for the limelight but we all know they are a Big-Government, control-freak! Corcoran is one of those radical lefties who wants to turn our great city into a socialist hellscape!Rejected by Austin, embraced by Libs: that pretty much sums up Corcoran's sad political career!
Osama Jr's Veep throws hat into ring.
Kamala Harris favorite over Trump? Liberal media hacks at it again, twisting facts to suit their agenda! Harris, the left-wing puppet, has no chance against Trump, a true American patriot.
Trump Wants Schools: No-LeftiesAllowedAct, Patriotism Mandatory
Trump teed up an eagle-eyed agenda for education and teachers as part of his winning second term. The left will lose their minds over this—but we know they always do! Get ready for the red wave, and God bless America!
Ex-Trucker: Road-kill Triple Bagger!
Old Warren Luther Alexander, a real ladies' man, murdered three California women in 1977. Unlike the left-wing media, we won't forget about thiscase after a week.
The Ton of Fun.
The Feds finally caught a drug smuggler—better late than never! Kudos to our "justice" system for doing its job for once. Now, let's get tough on these criminals and send a message: break the law, and you'll pay the price!
Young Iowa Murderer Shoots Self in Foot.
Good riddance to bad rubbish! A murderer got what was coming to him. US Marshalls took out the trash.
FREE fireworks show! 1 dead, 1 hurt.
Leftist safe space explodes, debris field of participation trophies and rainbow flags litters the scene.