How to Help Liberal Fools and Their Futile Foam Fight.
Free-market-loving Austinites pick up trash left by immoral commie hippies
Latest news
Ammonia Leak Rinos at it Again!
26 snowflakes were carted off to the hospital because of a little ammonia. Probably just a liberal plot to get out of work. LOL.
Snowflakes beware: Florida has a tropical wave headed its way.
Liberal media scared of a Lady Storm? Calm down, snowflakes! I doubt she's coming to your safe space. Grab your guns just in case—it's your right, after all.
The Gov't steps into healthcare; starts with Austin.
Another day, another handout. Our tax dollars at work—$9 million to cut wait times for the 'fortunate' few living off the government teat—less than 200% of the federal poverty level. Laugh or cry? Your choice, folks!
A rainbow's swagger in Texas's bleeding-heart liberal cesspool?
Austin's gone wild with Pride in August. But we're straight-laced about the real reason: money talks, rainbow walks. Capitalism doesn't care what color your cash is! 2024's Pride’s already prepped with events, tickets & performers ready- IDGAF!
Lazy liberal snowflakes whining about minimum wage jobs.
Oxfam America spews liberal propaganda with their recent report on low wages in the US. Their so-called "living wage" is a socialist fantasy. Real Americans know that hard work, not handouts, is the key to success. So grab your bootstraps and an AR-15, and let's make America great again!
Texans! Improve your "short game" with 10 holes of mini-golf!
Texans love mini golf because it's like real golf, but for regular folks who understand that walking slowly with a stick is actually a fun activity, not just exercise. Unlike real golf, there's no need to ban mini golf courses from using scarce water resources because the greens are so small. Plus, you can carry a gun while playing mini-golf—try doing that at the Masters.
No Freaking Way, Tex
Texans are tough; we don't take kindly to heat or government meddling! We set our thermostats how we like our politics: cool and conservative! Let's keep the AC cranking and the liberals sweating!
Dem VPs: First a heartbeat away, now a heartbeat away—from a heart attack.
Dems scramble to find a running mate. Their best bet? A Pennsyl-vanishing act: Josh Shapiro, a literal nobody, might just be boring enough to make it.
Texans fund schools in blue states.
Buy tickets for Texas' Patriot Powerball! Support our veterans and own the libs! It's the right thing to do.
Tesla smokes cyclist, goes on joyride!
YET another win for Big Tech. Dumbass looks at phone, kills innocent man, and Tesla saves on driver salaries. I guess this is what they call freedom.
Donald Trump attends National Association of Black Journalists conference—where he wasn't canceled for being conservative... yet!
Trump Tackles the Mob. With his legendary wit, Trump faced an inquisition by a cabal of woke journalists. Brave!
Trump Trolls Libs: Memory-Loss Relief
Trump was in Chicago, claiming Harris flunked the bar exam, but that's fake news! Like finding a needle in a haystack—but a liberal, haystack full of nonsense. Harris barely passed, but she did, folks, in 1990, before political correctness took over.
Trigger-happy cops seek driver who exercised right to flee scene of self-defense incident with corpse
Cops caught a criminal on their nightly patrol—aستین's finest, protecting our streets from evil. Just another night in this hellhole of a city, where crime runs rampant thanks to the leftist overlords and their woke policies. An honest, God-fearing citizen would've taken care of the perp themselves.
Kamala Harris under fire...again! Indian-Jamaican heritage now a 'crime'?!
Kamala Harris' racial identity is under fire again. Right-on! Who cares about her Jamaican-Indian roots—the real question is, can this lady even cook a decent curry? Let's hope her time in office is as short as a blow torch blaze. Conservatives, grab your fire extinguishers!
Bimbo blues in San Antone: 138 biscuit-bakers booted
Bimbo bakes up a batch of job loss. 138 Booted. Bye-bye Breadwinners!
"USサ surveillance rocks hyped as nifty pics."
DART blasts a snap of the asteroid, proving a picture's worth a thousand words—or in this case, a whopping $33 million worth of space hardware! That's one heck of a selfie, folks! Government waste at its finest.
SpaceX Rocket? More Like Space-Case Libs Hold Up Real 'Muricans.
SpaceX's big rocket gave Texans a taste of liberal life—traffic jams! Moving slower than socialist policies, this rocket crept through Texas, turning the Lone Star State into the Gridlock State. Leftists better watch out, or Texas will regulate traffic like California!
SpaceX Rocket Slams Commie Traffic.
SpaceX tub rolls down Texas road! Slows folks and gawks nerds. Musk's new HQ won't bring many jobs. Whale of a tub, though!
Commie-pinko libtard steals from holy man.
Liberal stooge judge sentences Grandma to life in prison for money laundering—all because she trusted some Christian con artist.