GOP Redistricting Hearings: Democracy’s Greatest Hits (Now With Extra Gerrymandering!)
Texas GOP prioritizes gerrymandering over flood relief, because nothing says "compassion" like rigging elections while bodies are still floating.
Latest opinion
Abbott Vetoes Common Sense (Again): Texas Lawmakers Beg Governor to Let Them Warn You Before You Die
Texas lawmakers are once again trying to pass a bill that would let people sign up for emergency alerts when they get their driver’s license. Governor Abbott, however, remains committed to his 'thoughts and prayers' approach to disaster management.
BREAKING: Sixth Street Shooting Suspect Arrested—City Officials Blame Lack of Vegan Options
Austin police finally catch the alleged shooter behind the 'Lit Lounge Massacre,' proving once again that Sixth Street after dark is just a GTA server with worse parking.
Sixth Street Roulette: Austin’s Newest Extreme Sport
Austin police finally catch a suspect in the city's favorite pastime: Sixth Street Roulette.
Austin’s Latest Budget Cut: Your Safety (But Hey, At Least the Scooters Are Safe!)
Austin's city council is at it again—this time, they're putting your life on the line to save a few bucks. Because nothing says 'progressive utopia' like fewer firefighters and more bureaucratic nonsense.
EXCLUSIVE: Deep State Using 'High Pressure Systems' to Control Your Mind (And Your BBQ)
Government weather manipulation or just another hot Austin week? Alex Jaxon investigates the sinister forces behind your 10-day forecast.
GOVERNMENT WEATHER MACHINES TURN AUSTIN INTO A 'SLOW-COOKED SHEEPLE STEW,' CLAIMS LOCAL CONSPIRACY GURU
The 'experts' say it's just another hot Austin week, but Alex Jaxon smells a conspiracy—because of course he does.
Ambiq Micro’s IPO: Because Losing Money Privately Was Too Mainstream
Austin's latest IPO contender, Ambiq Micro, is here to prove that losing millions is just step one in the Silicon Hills playbook.
Margaret Gómez’s Retirement: A Deep-State Exit Strategy or Just Another Coincidence?
After 52 years of 'public service,' Travis County Commissioner Margaret Gómez announces retirement—but is she really just fleeing before we expose the truth?
Yogurt Shop Murders Doc: True Crime or Deep-State Distraction?
HBO's new documentary on the infamous Yogurt Shop Murders is either a gripping true-crime saga or yet another deep-state distraction—depending on who you ask (and whether you trust Alex Jaxon more than the 'mainstream media').
EXCLUSIVE: The Deep State’s Sinister Plot to Erase Texas History (And Replace It with Tofu)
Alex Jaxon exposes the *real* conspiracy behind Texas’s most beloved landmarks—spoiler alert, it involves tofu and the Illuminati.
Refugee Services "Saved" by Shadowy Elites—Because Texas Just Can’t Catch a Break
Catholic Charities of Fort Worth extends its role in Texas refugee services, proving once again that the deep state's tofu agenda is alive and well.
Austin Protesters Demand Flood Relief, Immediately Make It About Everything Else
A satirical take on the recent protest at the Texas Governor’s Mansion, where 'concerned citizens' demanded flood relief while somehow making it about everything else.
"Free Week" at The Contemporary: A Temporary Reprieve from Art Snobbery
The Contemporary Austin offers "Free Week," because nothing says philanthropy like a temporary break from gatekeeping culture.
Austin 'Protesters' Demand Flood Relief Because Apparently, Redistricting Is Just Too Hard to Understand
A satirical take on the latest Austin protest, where a handful of 'activists' demanded flood relief while ignoring the *real* issues—like keeping men out of women's bathrooms.
Abbott’s Veto of Flood Alert Bill Proves Texas Would Rather Drown Than Govern
Governor Abbott’s veto of a life-saving emergency alert bill in 2019 comes back to haunt Texas—because nothing says "leadership" like learning from mistakes six years too late.
GOVERNMENT STORM TROOPERS: Hurricane 'Dexter' Just a Cover for Climate Control Conspiracy
The National Hurricane Center claims a 'tropical disturbance' is forming, but Alex Jaxon smells a rat—and possibly a government plot to weaponize the weather.
Government-Funded Floods or Just Another Deep State BBQ Distraction?
In a shocking twist that absolutely no one saw coming (except me), the recent Central Texas floods were clearly a government plot to distract us from the real issues—like the war on meat.
Texas Cities Ranked 'Most Boring'? Hold My Overpriced Avocado Toast.
A recent study declared three Texas cities among the most boring in the U.S. Naturally, we had some thoughts—mostly involving queso and questionable life choices.
Mosquito Apocalypse: Globalist Blood-Suckers Target Type O Patriots in Latest Deep State Plot
Austin's mosquito surge isn't just bad luck—it's a sinister plot by shadowy elites to drain the lifeblood of patriots, according to local conspiracy theorist Alex Jaxon.