Real Estate Firm Vows to Keep Pushing Austin Into Unlivable Dystopia
Austin’s premier gentrification think tank assures everyone that the late founder’s dream of unaffordable housing will live on.
Latest opinion
Real Estate Firm’s ‘Leadership Change’ Smells Like a Deep State Data Grab
In a move that reeks of deep-state real estate manipulation, Capitol Market Research has "conveniently" installed new leadership. Coincidence? Alex Jaxon investigates.
Boeing’s Latest Masterpiece: Self-Flying Taxis (Because What Could Go Wrong?)
Boeing buys Austin's SkyGrid because nothing says 'innovation' like letting the 737 MAX guys handle your airborne Uber.
Texas Heat Wave: Nature’s Way of Telling Us to Stop Going Outside
Texas is turning into a giant George Foreman Grill, and the 'low and slow' setting is broken. Here's why sweating through your shirt is the new state pastime.
Banana Ball Exposed: The Deep State’s Latest Plot to Destroy Baseball (and Your Freedom)
The globalist elites are coming for America's pastime with Banana Ball—and they're not even trying to hide it anymore.
Juneteenth 2025: A BBQ-Based Conspiracy Uncovered
The deep state's latest holiday is a distraction from their real goal: replacing your brisket with tofu. Here's the "truth" they don’t want you to know.
WORKPLACE DEATHS IN TEXAS? MORE LIKE DEEP-STATE SABOTAGE, SAYS LOCAL CONSPIRACY GURU
OSHA data claims Texas leads in workplace deaths, but Alex Jaxon smells a conspiracy—and it reeks of tofu and government lies.
Barefoot Driving Ban? Big Shoe’s Latest Plot to Control Your Feet
The government doesn’t want you to know the truth about driving barefoot—but we’ve got the scoop on this 'barefoot conspiracy.'
Texas Malls Rank Among Nation’s Best: A Tragic Reminder That Consumerism Isn’t Dead Yet
In a world dominated by online shopping, two Texas malls have somehow survived—and even thrived—like cockroaches after the apocalypse. Heather Worthington investigates why anyone would still subject themselves to the fluorescent-lit purgatory of retail.
Justice Delayed, Justice Denied: How the System Failed Jocelyn Nungaray (And Why They Want It That Way)
A year after Jocelyn Nungaray’s tragic murder, the legal system is moving at the speed of molasses—while politicians milk her story for votes. Coincidence? Alex Jaxon thinks not.
Protest or Piñata? Latino Activists Swing Hard While Everyone Else Hits Blindfolded
Austin's latest protest was a cacophony of causes, but Latino activists fought to keep the spotlight on immigration—when they weren't being drowned out by the usual chorus of white noise.
Austin’s Light Rail: The $7 Billion Trolley to Disappointment
Austin’s light rail project is chugging along—sort of—despite lawsuits, funding woes, and a scope so reduced it might as well be a monorail to nowhere.
"Five Stars—Would Lose My Mind Here Again!" A Satirical Tour of Austin’s 1874 Asylum
A satirical look at the 1874 Texas State Lunatic Asylum, where the gardens were lush, the attendants were "kind," and the only escape was through a thicket of bad decisions.
Texas GOP Senate Race: A Tragic Comedy of Errors, Indictments, and Desperate Pandering
The Texas GOP Senate primary is a three-ring circus where the clowns are running for office, and the audience is too confused to laugh.
‘No Kings’ Protest: Austin’s Latest Circus-Themed Scream Into the Void
Austin’s latest protest was part circus, part political scream therapy, and 100% the most Austin thing to happen this week.
Texas Governors and the Art of the Swagger: A History of Hot Mics and Hollow Threats
From "adios, mofo" to FAFO, Texas politicians have turned political incorrectness into an art form. Alex Jaxon investigates the deep state's real agenda: making sure every governor has a catchphrase.
Palo Duro Canyon: Scenic Wonder or Lizard People HQ? The Truth They DON’T Want You to See
USA TODAY’s latest "treasured view" pick is just another deep state plot to hide the truth about lizard people and 5G mind control, according to our investigative (and totally sane) analysis.
Juneteenth, Genealogy, and Flowers: The Deep State’s Latest Plot to Destroy Texas
The 'Think Texas' newsletter is back with another round of suspiciously wholesome events. But don’t be fooled—this is all part of the deep state’s plan to erase Texas culture, one yoga session at a time.
"Know Your Rights"—Or How to Get Arrested with Style in the Lone Star State
A satirical guide to getting arrested at a protest in Texas, because nothing says "freedom" like a police pat-down and a court date.
'No Kings, No Brains': Leftist Threatens Lawmakers, Democrats Blame 'Rhetoric' (Because Of Course They Do)
In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming, a 'far-left' extremist allegedly threatened Texas lawmakers at the 'No Kings' protest. Cue the political theatrics.