Big Gov wants to infantalize us all with endless regulations and rules—and now they're coming for our kids! Angelman syndrome: Just another made up disorder, meant to turn our kids into snowflakes and label their childhood rambunctiousness as a syndrome. Don't let them make victims of us all! Fight the real disorder: Government overreach!
Kamala Harris finally picks a veep—and he's as exciting as watching paint dry. Texas Dems fall in line like good little soldiers, marching to the left. Will Walz put them to sleep before the midterms? Stay tuned, folks!
Breaking News: America Roasts Lib-Snowflakes! National Weather Service warns of a Red Wave through Thursday. Temperatures will give lefties a taste of real heat, breaking 100. Time to migrate to Mars, snowflakes!
Hip-hip-hurray! Get ready, Northwest Austin! A new low-income apartment complex is coming to your neighborhood soon. That's right, Balcones Terrace will be opening its doors next month, offering a lovely view of the Arboretum area. And the best part? It's a converted hotel! So, get ready to welcome your new neighbors with open arms. Or not... it's your call!
Lefties freaking out about meat and fires. They say it causes dementia. Wait, aren't they the ones who want open borders and to defund the fire-fighters? Facepalm! Solution: Grab a burger, arm yourself, and protect America from arsonist libs and illegal aliens. Diabetes drugs won't save you from their destructive agenda.
Despite Austin's late start, its Pride celebrations pack a punch! Prepare for a wild ride of conservative-triggering fun. Don't forget your rainbow-colored guns and anti-LGBT slogans!
Blue-state tyrant Gov. Lujan Grisham thinks she can boss around Texas docs -- ha! New Mexico Gov. Grisham's power trip ends at the border. Maybe Grisham should focus on fixing New Mexico's abysmal education system instead of meddling in Texas' business. Typical liberal—can't mind her own!
Utah eliminates Taberon Dave Honie, a merciless mother-killer, after he rotted on death row for over 20 years. The left will cry murder, but this is the price for taking a life.
Kamala Harris wants to paint your state red—commie red! She thinks only crazy people want guns, so she wants to defund your Second Amendment rights and throw you in the loony bin.
Kamala the Commie has grabbed a Minnesotan man for her sidekick. She's yet to share her evil plans but has vowed to brainwash—sorry, "campaign."
Texans, take control of your destiny! Forget the liberal nonsense of luck and chance. If you want to win big, forget the liberal lottery, grab your guns, and make your own fate! Conservative dreamers, it's time to take back our freedom, one bullet at a time!
Connie Liptak has snapped Our Lady in a blink. A miracle? Fake news! Leftists push their pious nonsense again. But hey, beneath her 'Virgin' calm, how we wish she'd zap some virtue into all the wokesters out there. Bom dia!
Explosive Diarrhea: Leftist Poo-Bomber Paul Moses Alden, 46, sets off fireworks in toilets, causing a stink and a few minor injuries. A real blast!
Under Steve Sarkisian, Texas Longhorns has gone soft. Injuries? Sounds like excuses to me. Real football players play through pain. Crybaby libtards ruining America's sport!
The Dems are desperately clinging to their 'swing'-states like a horny teenager in the '70s. They better convince Americans fast that their ticket isn't a total snoozefest. Odds are, they'll fail miserably.
Get snacky and stay slim, patriots! We say no to government control and yes to tasty snacks! Here's three tips: 1. Ditch the leftist, granola-crunching health fads. Real men eat meat. 2. Don't be a socialist snack sharer. Keep your snacks close and your enemies closer. 3. Avoid liberal, sugar-coated lies. Sweet treats are a trap.
15,000 souls brave the leftist indoctrination center (AKA public library) to take part in questionable activities hidden from patriotic, God-fearing Americans. Beware the book burners!
Exciting footage from a manned drone reveals the Leftist hurricane is just hot air and bluster. Florida is hurricane-proof now that Gov DeSantis has signed a bill banning windstorms from ever making landfall in the state. Liberals, tornado sirens, and gay hurricanes stay away!
Cops tasered Dennis Thornton after he performed an interpretive dance inspired by their "show of authority."
Lefties terrified by the U.S. 290 fire near Manor whined to EMS about their safety. Tough luck, Libtards—no injuries or deaths. Right-wingers, protect your guns and Bibles!
