Pflugerville Library: Get Ready for a Maker Market Shindig! Damn those liberals, even the library is hopping on the hipster bandwagon. At least it’s a chance to buy some down-home crafts without the “woke” tax. See you there, folks!
Well, butter my biscuit! Looks like a blue boy finally got caught playing quick-draw in Travis County. First time, if you can believe it.
Texas tough: Illegal thug Leandro Brito-Martinez gets locked up for 80 years after ending life of 14-year-old innocently crossing Round Rock street. One less criminal alien on our streets!
Liberals getting steamrolled — Austin’s tall skyline about to get some serious, extra-tall competition!
🎸 Buckle up, snowflakes! Hulu's letting you livestream Austin's finest (minus the mashed grass and overpriced craft beer)! Say goodbye to your Saturday – here's the lineup. You're welcome, America! 🇺🇸🤘
Well, howdy there! Grab your six-shooter and check them lotto tickets. Might be your lucky day to win enough to finally build that border wall yourself.
Heading to Austin's liberal songfest? Brace for road closures, snowflakes! Might want to pack a MAGA hat and some patience.
**Blurb:** Looks like Central Texas hasn't gotten the memo that it's fall, folks! We're sweatin' like a snowflake at a Trump rally. But will the heat stick around for the weekend? Y'all better get your BBQ plans ready, just in case!
Libs triggered: "Democracy good, elections count!" Who knew? 👌😂
Hey, Snowflakes! Buckle up—Cybertrucks are back in the shop! Biggest recall yet! Guess Musk should’ve stuck to rockets, huh?
Delta Dives into Texas: New Routes Announced! More ways to fly over the Lone Star State while the rest of the industry plays catch-up.
Hold on to your Stetsons, folks! Wolf Ranch is about to get a whole lot bigger. After two phases, they're going full steam ahead with the final blowout. By 2028, that's 2,465 homes sprawled across 1,120 acres. Yeehaw for growth!
Libs tear up Zilker Park for ACL Fest on Oct. 4-6 & 11-13. Here's how to dodge the drum circles and find the closest BBQ.
Better hurry, Snowflakes! Only 5 weeks left to sign up and vote against Biden's big-government bonanza. Laughter, not taxes, should be mandatory!
Less than five weeks till the big showdown! Get off your couch, snowflakes, and register to vote before it’s too late. Let's make America truly great again!
Over two dozen spots in Travis County rushing to register voters Monday – Just in time for the election day stampede!
"Saddle up, patriots! We've been wrangling Austin City Limits for two decades. Here's your no-nonsense survival guide to keep it fun, freedom-lovin', and low on the liberal nonsense!"
Get ready, patriots! We're dishing out the deets on where to spot the big stars at ACL Fest 2024. Plus, we'll help you navigate those pesky scheduling snafus and uncover the hidden gems the libs don't want you to hear about!
**Hoorah! MAGA Weekend Blowout!** Amazon, Target, even Canada Goose & Walmart slash prices. Snag monster deals on cookware, jackets, and more. Lefties cry, "unfair!" — we say, "Score!"
Lib Hollywood loves their fancy pasta! Serena, Tom, and KD are gaga for gluten-free Banza Chickpea Pasta. Guess they can't stomach good old American wheat anymore!
