Texas to New Year’s Revelers: ‘You’ve Had Enough Fun, Go Home’
Texas' alcohol laws are here to ruin your New Year's Day—because nothing says 'celebration' like government-mandated sobriety.
Latest opinion
Rabid Fox or Deep State Bioweapon? The Truth They Don’t Want You to Know
Hays County officials confirm a dead fox had rabies, but Alex Jaxon sees a darker conspiracy—globalists using wildlife to push vaccines and veganism.
Austin’s 2026 New Year’s Dining Guide: Because Resolutions Are for Quitters
A scathing, over-the-top take on Austin's dining options for New Year's—because nothing says 'fresh start' like questionable life choices and a side of fries.
K9 Jax’s Suspicious "Retirement": A Tail of Corruption, Spin Moves, and Big Kibble
Was K9 Jax’s untimely death just bad luck—or part of a deeper conspiracy? Alex Jaxon investigates the *real* story behind Austin’s fallen furry hero.
GOVERNMENT DECLARES WAR ON FIREWORKS: THE GLOW STICK AGENDA EXPOSED
The Travis County burn ban is just another ploy by the no-fun deep state to crush your patriotic spirit—here's why you should ignore it.
City of Austin Discovers Homeless People Exist (But Only When It’s Cold)
Austin’s unhoused population gets its annual 12-hour reprieve from freezing to death, courtesy of a shelter system that treats survival like a scavenger hunt.
Texas Cities Ranked for NYE: From 'Meh' to 'Why Bother?'
WalletHub's latest rankings prove Texas cities are... fine, if you like fireworks, Denny's, and existential dread.
Texas' 2026 Laws Exposed: Globalist Plot or Just More Government Nonsense?
Texas' new laws for 2026 are here, and if you believe they're just about taxes and evictions, I've got a bridge in Marfa to sell you.
Austin Wins Participation Trophy for Being Fourth-Best at Being Overcrowded
Austin reclaims its spot as Texas' fourth-largest city, proving once again that people will move here no matter how unaffordable it gets.
Mulch Ado About Nothing: A Westlake Mom’s Guide to Dumping Your Christmas Regrets
Heather Worthington, Westlake’s self-appointed arbiter of holiday etiquette, weighs in on the *real* meaning of Christmas tree recycling—because someone has to.
Highway to Hell: Austin’s Latest ‘Accident’ Smells Like a Deep State Driver’s Ed Conspiracy
Another 'accidental' wrong-way crash? Or a sinister plot to usher in the age of self-driving oppression? Alex Jaxon investigates.
Texas Primaries: A Masterclass in Political Gaslighting (Sponsored by the Deep State)
The Texas Senate primaries are here, and if you believe any of these candidates are actually working for you, I’ve got a bridge in Marfa to sell you.
Mulch Ado About Nothing: Austin’s Annual Tree Massacre Returns
Austin’s annual tree-shredding extravaganza is back, turning your holiday guilt into free mulch—because nothing says "sustainable" like a wood chipper.
City of Austin Finally Remembers to Ask for Money Back, Calls It a ‘Miracle’
Austin bureaucrats pat themselves on the back for recovering disaster funds—years after the disasters happened.
Texas Chooses Haystack Cookies as Its Favorite Holiday Treat, Proving We Have No Standards
Texas has spoken, and its favorite Christmas cookie is... haystacks. Yes, *haystacks*. Heather Worthington investigates this culinary travesty.
MISSING MAN OR GOVERNMENT PLOT? AUSTIN'S LATEST 'SENIOR DISAPPEARANCE' RAISES EYEBROWS (AND BLOOD PRESSURE)
Austin police claim a senior citizen has gone missing, but this reporter smells a conspiracy—and it reeks of steamed broccoli.
Austin’s Holiday Trash Pickup: A Deep State Conspiracy to Ruin Christmas
The City of Austin’s holiday trash pickup schedule is just another front in the war on your freedom—and your right to throw things away without government interference.
**Almondgate: How H-E-B’s Yogurt Recall Exposed the Dark Underbelly of Dairy-Free Living**
H-E-B’s dairy-free yogurt recall has sent shockwaves through the plant-based community—because nothing ruins a moral high ground like undeclared almonds.
Texas Declares War on Christmas (Again): Liquor Stores Closed, Sobriety Enforced
Texas’ Christmas liquor laws exposed as a sinister plot to ruin your holiday cheer—because nothing says "Merry Christmas" like government-mandated sobriety.
"Closed on Christmas? How DARE They!"—A Karen’s Guide to Holiday Dining Outrage
A scathing, sarcastic take on the absurdity of demanding fast food on Christmas—because nothing says "holiday cheer" like corporate greed and underpaid workers.