ICE Agents Accidentally Prove They Can’t Tell Citizens from Targets: A Satirical Autopsy
ICE agents demonstrate their signature move—shooting first, asking questions never—while Austin protesters respond with jazz and sarcasm.
Latest opinion
Fredericksburg 'Plane Crash' Smells Like a Deep-State Hit Job
A 'plane crash' in Fredericksburg has left one man dead—or so the government wants you to think. Alex Jaxon investigates the 'amateur-built' cover-up.
CDC Declares ‘Very High’ Flu Levels—Or Is It Just Another Pharma Scam?
The CDC’s latest ‘flu surge’ is just another fear-mongering scheme to control you—and sell more vaccines. Wake up, sheeple!
"ICE Agents Mistake Snowbound Mom for Cartel Kingpin, Nation Shrugs"
ICE agents demonstrate their trademark "shoot first, ask questions never" policy in Minneapolis, leaving Austin activists with yet another reason to chant in the cold.
Yogurt Shop Murders "Solved"—But Was It Really Just Another Deep State Cover-Up?
Authorities finally solve a decades-old murder case, but Alex Jaxon isn't buying it—because when has the government ever told the truth?
Baby Drop Boxes: The Government’s Latest Plot to Turn Fire Stations into Human Vending Machines
Texas' first 'Safe Haven Baby Box' surrender has conspiracy theorists (and one very paranoid columnist) questioning whether we're living in a Black Mirror episode.
Texas Winter Escapes: Come for the Warmth, Stay for the Regret
WalletHub's latest ranking of 'best winter destinations' has Texans smugly sweating through their scarves—because apparently, our mild existential dread is your vacation paradise.
U-Haul’s Texas Takeover: The Shocking Truth Behind the Moving Van Conspiracy
U-Haul’s latest rankings claim Texas is the top destination for movers—but is this just another deep state plot to turn the Lone Star State into a liberal stronghold? Alex Jaxon investigates.
Conveyor Belt Sushi: The Rolling Menace Coming to Ruin Pflugerville
Pflugerville's newest dining horror: Sushi that *moves* on its own. Heather Worthington investigates the looming threat to suburban sanity.
Uvalde Cop on Trial for Mastering the Art of Standing Around: A Deep State Cover-Up?
In a world where cops are finally being held accountable for doing absolutely nothing, one Uvalde officer stands trial—but is it just another Deep State distraction?
Mystery Seeds from China? More Like the Deep State's Botanical Warfare on Texas
Globalist elites are mailing mystery seeds to Texans in what can only be described as a covert operation to destroy barbecue and freedom. Alex Jaxon investigates the terrifying truth behind this 'brushing scam.'
"Get Out or Get Trampled": Texas Streamlines Evictions for Maximum Efficiency
Texas cracks down on squatters with new law that ensures evictions happen faster than you can say "gentrification."
Austin Protesters Defend Maduro, Fail to Spell ‘Venezuela’ Correctly
Austin’s finest activists rally to defend a dictator, misspell Venezuela, and question egg prices in a protest that accomplished absolutely nothing.
BREAKING: North Austin 'Officer Injury' Just Another Deep State BBQ Distraction
While the mainstream media spins a tale of an injured officer, the truth is far more sinister—and possibly involves vegan leather.
EXCLUSIVE: Suicide Prevention Team or Government Spy Ring? The Shocking Truth Behind Williamson County’s Latest ‘Outreach’ Program
Williamson County’s new suicide prevention team has raised eyebrows—and not just because of its noble intentions. Conspiracy theorists are calling it a thinly veiled government plot to monitor grieving families. Here’s why.
Austin’s Great Venezuelan Protest Debacle: Three People, a Cowbell, and a Whole Lot of Confusion
Austin’s Venezuelan community reacts to Maduro’s capture with prayer, protests, and the kind of scheduling chaos only a Texas capital could produce.
Polar Bear Plunge or Mass Hysteria? A Westlake Mom’s Scathing Take on Austin’s Chilliest Tradition
Heather Worthington, Westlake’s self-appointed arbiter of sanity, weighs in on the annual Barton Springs madness.
Texas’ Firework Regulations: A Deep State Plot to Steal Your Freedom (And Your Fun)
The government’s latest plot to control your fireworks—and your freedom—has been exposed. Here’s what they don’t want you to know.
Austin 2025: A Year of Tragedies, Conspiracies, and Buc-ee’s
Austin’s 2025 headlines read like a dystopian parody—floods, shootings, and a *Gulf of America*. But don’t worry, it’s just another year in the city that *used* to be weird.
Austin Energy’s $735M Grid Plan: More Money, More Problems (And Probably More Blackouts)
Austin Energy's $735M "resiliency" plan is just another expensive band-aid for a grid held together by duct tape and wishful thinking, writes our resident conspiracy theorist.