Lakeway in Crisis: Lake Travis Dares to Flood, Disrupts Yacht Club Vibes
Lake Travis commits the ultimate betrayal by holding too much water, sending local elites into a tailspin over ruined brunch plans and unsightly debris.
Latest opinion
Guadalupe River Reopens: Is It Safe or Just Another Government Biohazard Experiment?
The Guadalupe River is back open, but according to 'experts,' it’s now a petri dish of doom. Alex Jaxon investigates whether this is just another deep state plot to keep you out of the water—and into a doctor’s office.
Trump’s Texas Gerrymandering Extravaganza: Because 25 GOP Seats Just Wasn’t Enough
Trump demands five new GOP congressional seats in Texas, because democracy is just a suggestion when you're losing.
Tesla Execs Flee Like Cybertrucks From a Charging Station
Tesla's latest executive exodus proves even the most loyal employees have their limits—especially when 'loyal' means 'willing to be publicly humiliated by a meme lord CEO.'
IKEA Shrinks Itself for Texas, Because Apparently We Can’t Handle the Real Thing
IKEA's new "small-format" store is coming to Texas, proving that even the Swedes have succumbed to our state's obsession with doing everything bigger—except, apparently, furniture shopping.
Flood Relief or Deep-State Psyop? The Disturbing Truth Behind Texas Students’ "Charity"
In what can only be described as a suspicious display of altruism, Central Texas students are "helping" flood victims—but Alex Jaxon isn’t buying it.
Tropical Storm Dexter or Government Weather Weapon? The Truth They Don’t Want You to Know
The National Hurricane Center is warning of a potential tropical disturbance, but Alex Jaxon sees a deeper conspiracy—one involving weather manipulation, bike lanes, and, of course, tofu.
EXCLUSIVE: Greg Abbott and Elon Musk’s Emails So Embarrassing, Even Texas Can’t Handle It
Governor Greg Abbott’s refusal to release emails with Elon Musk has left Texans wondering: What’s so embarrassing that even the guy who launched a car into space doesn’t want it public?
Camp Mystic: Where Faith, Floods, and Liability Forms Collide
Camp Mystic's delayed evacuation proves that faith moves mountains—but not floodwaters. A satirical take on tragedy, waivers, and the power of prayer.
Round Rock Declares War on Density, Common Sense in Latest Council Meeting
Round Rock City Council valiantly protects residents from the scourge of *affordable housing* and *functional infrastructure* in a series of bold, deeply unnecessary decisions.
Austin Housing Market 'Slows Down,' Threatens to Make Homeownership Slightly Less Exclusively Elite
Austin’s housing market is *finally* showing signs of weakness—much to the dismay of homeowners who were counting on their properties to fund early retirement and a third Tesla.
Austin Housing Market ‘Slows Down’—Because Even Overpriced Real Estate Needs a Nap
Austin’s housing market is *finally* showing signs of slowing down, much to the horror of sellers and the cautious optimism of buyers who still can’t afford anything.
Democrat Enters AG Race, Immediately Vows to Replace BBQ with Tofu
State Sen. Nathan Johnson announces AG run, and the left's plot to turn Texas into a tofu-loving dystopia takes another sinister step forward.
EXPOSED: Austin’s Restaurant Cabal Exploits Flood Tragedy for PR Stunt
Austin restaurants *suddenly* care about flood victims—or is this just another deep-state plot to launder money through overpriced avocado toast?
Texas Floodplains: Nature’s Way of Saying ‘Move, You Idiots’
Texans continue their proud tradition of rebuilding in floodplains, because nothing says "resilience" like ignoring every warning sign known to man.
Texas Floods: A Tragic Comedy of Errors (Or Is It a Government Conspiracy?)
Governor Abbott expresses shock as Texas faces consequences of its own policies, while conspiracy theorists wonder if the floods are really a deep-state plot.
Drowning in Deception: Was Malaya Hammond’s Death a Deep-State Plot?
A 'tragic hero' story or a deep-state distraction? Alex Jaxon investigates the suspicious circumstances surrounding Malaya Hammond's death.
GOP’s Redistricting Circus: When ‘Race-Blind’ Suddenly Means ‘Race-Conscious’ (But Only When Convenient)
Texas Republicans are at it again, redrawing congressional maps with the subtlety of a bull in a china shop—and the same level of concern for the damage left in their wake.
Texas GOP Rediscovers Race—Just in Time to Gerrymander Again
Texas Republicans have suddenly discovered that their own congressional maps are 'unconstitutional'—conveniently, just in time to squeeze out a few more GOP seats. Coincidence? Absolutely not.
Austin’s Sky Has Officially Lost Its Mind: A Soggy, Sweaty Tragedy
Austin’s weather is throwing a full-blown tantrum, and we’re all just collateral damage in its melodramatic saga.