Cornyn’s Soft-Serve Shenanigans: A Scoop of Political Desperation in Texas
Senator John Cornyn tries his hand at ice cream diplomacy while Ken Paxton sharpens his knives for 2026. Spoiler: Neither one is serving anything refreshing.
Latest opinion
Hegar’s Great Escape: How One Man’s Career Move Could Unleash Tofu-Based Anarchy in Texas
Texas Comptroller Glenn Hegar’s departure sparks a political free-for-all, conspiracy theories, and the looming threat of kale smoothies.
Texas House Committee Assignments: Who Got the Golden Ticket and Who’s Stuck in Detention?
The Texas House has finally assigned committees, proving once again that politics is just high school with better suits and worse decisions.
Dade Phelan’s Farewell Tour: A Masterclass in How to Lose Texas in 3 Easy Steps
Former Texas House Speaker Dade Phelan reflects on his tenure—and why conservatives should be very, very worried.
DEMOCRATS ALLOWED TO TALK IN TEXAS HOUSE: REPUBLICANS DECLARE STATE OF EMERGENCY
Texas Republicans are in full meltdown mode after Democrats were granted the *unthinkable* privilege of speaking in committee hearings. Alex Jaxon investigates this shocking betrayal of conservative values.
Texas Birth Certificates Exposed: The Deep State’s Secret Plan to Flood America with ‘Anchor Babies’
In a shocking twist, Texas birth certificates don’t ask if your baby is a secret illegal immigrant—but Trump’s executive order might change that. Or will the deep state stop him first?
Texas Democrats Accidentally Become Political Geniuses as Republicans Implode
In a plot twist no one saw coming, Texas Democrats—yes, *those* Democrats—somehow became the power brokers in the Speaker race. How? By doing the one thing Republicans forgot: playing the game.
Texas Government: A Masterclass in Doing the Least with the Most
Texas Legislature: Where the pay is peanuts, the sessions are rare, and the constitution is longer than a CVS receipt. Alex Jaxon investigates why the Lone Star State’s government is basically a rodeo clown with a law degree.
GOP’s Speaker Chaos: When ‘Owning the Libs’ Turns Into Begging for Their Votes
Texas Republicans, masters of unity, are now begging Democrats for help in the Speaker race. It's as hilarious as it sounds.
Texas House Speaker Race: The Hunger Games, But With More Yelling
The Texas House is about to turn into a reality TV show, and no one’s ready for the drama.
Texas Highways Now a No-Rules Trucking Thunderdome Thanks to DPS’ Border Obsession
Texas DPS is too busy playing border cops to inspect trucks, turning highways into a dystopian demolition derby. But don’t worry—your tax dollars are *definitely* being wasted efficiently.
Texas School Buses: Where 'Hold My Juice Box' Is the Only Safety Protocol
In a state where everything is bigger, child safety is somehow the exception. A satirical take on Texas' seat belt-free school buses and the bureaucratic circus that keeps them that way.
Ozone Action Day or Government Mind Control? The Shocking Truth They Don’t Want You to Know
Texas officials warn residents about 'Ozone Action Days,' but is this just another ploy to control your life? Alex Jaxon investigates the *real* conspiracy behind the smog.
"Bruise Check" or Bad Cop Bingo? Cedar Park Officer’s Creative Interpretation of Police Work
Cedar Park cop turns "serve and protect" into "grope and suspect" in baffling career pivot.
Austin Energy’s Ice Storm Response: A Masterclass in How Not to Govern
Austin's latest ice storm proves once again that city officials are about as prepared as a squirrel in a dog park.
Dying Man Handcuffed by Austin PD: A Masterclass in 'Protect and Serve'
Austin PD proves once again that their commitment to protocol outweighs common sense—or basic humanity.
Scarbroughs: Austin’s Deep State Department Store?
Uncovering the dark secrets of Scarbroughs and its mysterious manager, Francis Amsler—because nothing in Austin is ever just what it seems.
Scarbroughs: The Original Austin ‘Disruptors’ (Before Disruption Was Cool)
A satirical roast of Austin's once-great department store empire, because nothing is sacred—not even your grandma's nostalgia.
The Great Texas Freeze: A Conspiracy So Cold, It’s Hot
The Texas Freeze of 2021 wasn't just a weather disaster—it was a sinister plot by the deep state to turn Austin into a frozen wasteland. Alex Jaxon investigates the chilling truth.
Labor Day in Austin: A Masterclass in Performative Relaxation
Austin’s Labor Day offerings prove that even our days off are a competitive sport.