STAAR Scores Reveal Shocking Truth: Rich Kids Do Better (And Other Obvious News)
In a stunning revelation that absolutely no one saw coming, STAAR test scores confirm that money buys success—and Texas still hasn’t figured out what to do about it.
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Tesla’s Robotaxis: The Future Is Here (If You Ignore the Human Babysitter)
Tesla’s robotaxis finally hit Austin—sort of. If you squint. And ignore the human in the front seat.
Texas Declares Itself a Theocracy, Also Some Other Stuff Happened
Governor Abbott signs a flurry of bills, including mandatory Ten Commandments in schools and emergency abortion protections—because nothing says 'small government' like state-mandated religion and medical oversight.
Regulators Demand Tesla Prove Robotaxis Won’t Murder People—How *Dare* They
Texas lawmakers want Tesla to prove its robotaxis won't kill people before launching. Chad Evans explains why that's *totally* unreasonable.
"Synergies" Strike Again: Khoros Lays Off Two-Thirds of Staff After Acquisition
Austin tech company Khoros celebrates its acquisition by firing 116 employees—because nothing says "innovation" like mass layoffs.
KAZI 88.7 FM: Austin’s Latest Deep-State Radio Operation?
Austin’s only Black community radio station has moved into a new studio, and Alex Jaxon is *very* suspicious about what’s *really* going on behind those soundproofed walls.
Brad Pitt’s Austin Visit Proves We’ll Clap for Anything
Brad Pitt showed up in Austin, and suddenly everyone forgot they were too cool for celebrity worship.
SpaceX’s Latest "Energetic Event" Just Another Day in Elon’s Exploding Circus
Elon Musk’s latest Starship "test" ended in yet another explosion, proving once again that SpaceX’s real mission is turning taxpayer dollars into spectacular fireballs.
Knock, Knock! Who’s There? The New World Order.
When the 'police' come knocking at 2 a.m., it's not a wellness check—it's a deep state drill. Here's how to resist (and why you should).
Thermostat Tyranny: The Great AC Debate That’s Tearing Texas Apart
As Texas braces for another scorching summer, the thermostat wars rage on—because nothing brings out our inner dictators quite like deciding who controls the AC.
Texas Women Out Here Building Empires While Tech Bros Argue About Bitcoin
Forbes just dropped its list of the wealthiest self-made women in America, and Texas is showing off—because apparently, women here can do more than just make brisket.
Juneteenth or Government Mind Control? The Shocking Truth Behind Austin's 'Celebration'
Austin's Juneteenth celebrations raise eyebrows—and possibly government-funded heatstroke—as locals fall for yet another 'historical' holiday.
H-E-B’s Adorable Robot Overlords Are Here to Judge Your Ice Cream Choices
H-E-B's new delivery robots are here to save Austinites from the unbearable horror of human interaction—and also deliver your groceries at the speed of a sleepy turtle.
Texas Comptroller Shuffle: Another Step Toward Tofu Tyranny?
In a move that reeks of deep-state collusion and soy-based conspiracy, Texas appoints a new financial overlord. Spoiler alert: It’s not you.
Hancock Takes Over Texas Treasury: A Tale of Fiscal Responsibility and GOP Infighting
Texas Comptroller Glenn Hegar hands the keys to the state's piggy bank to Kelly Hancock, setting the stage for a GOP primary showdown that promises to be as dramatic as a telenovela—but with more tax breaks.
Lakeway’s Landscaping Crackdown: A Tragedy in Three Acts (and Several Combustible Shrubs)
Lakeway's proposed landscaping rules have residents up in arms—mostly because they might have to swap flammable topiaries for, ugh, *safety*.
SpaceX Starship Explodes (Again): Elon Musk’s Firework Display Continues Unabated
SpaceX's Starship has once again turned 'rapid unscheduled disassembly' into an art form, leaving us all wondering if Elon Musk is building a rocket or a very expensive piñata.
WOKE ALERT: Austin’s Juneteenth, Pride, and Martini Day Exposed as Deep State Distraction
Austin’s latest wave of celebrations—Juneteenth, Pride, and National Martini Day—is just a smokescreen for the woke agenda, according to local conspiracy theorist Alex Jaxon. Here’s why you should be very, very afraid of freedom, equality, and discounted drinks.
Texas Summer Solstice: A Guide to Exhausting Yourself in the Name of ‘Culture’
The summer solstice is here, and Texans are expected to cram in as many stereotypical activities as possible before the sun sets. Spoiler: most of them involve waiting in line.
EXPOSED: Austin Pride 2025 Is Just a Deep-State Tofu Recruitment Drive
Austin’s annual Pride events are back, and according to local conspiracy theorist Alex Jaxon, they’re just a front for the radical left’s plot to turn Texas into a glittery socialist nightmare.