Addison Rae’s Tour: Austin Gets First Dibs on Whatever This Is
TikTok's favorite nepo-adjacent star is coming to Austin, and the city will never be the same (or care).
Latest opinion
Tesla’s Austin Factory Takes Another Nap: A Love Letter to Corporate Chaos
Tesla hits the pause button—again—because nothing screams 'innovation' like repeatedly stopping production while Elon Musk fights with the internet.
Texas Performing Arts Announces Lineup That Will Make You Wish You Were at a Punk Show Instead
Texas Performing Arts drops its new season lineup, and it's about as exciting as a lukewarm kombucha.
"To AC or Not to AC?": A Westlake Mom’s Guide to Surviving Summer Without Breaking a Sweat (Or a Nail)
As Texas temperatures soar, Westlake's finest grapple with the existential crisis of whether to leave the AC running or subject their homes to a swampy, mold-ridden fate. Spoiler: The answer involves minimal effort and maximum privilege.
Leander Parents Outraged Over School Closures: 'But What About Our Property Values?'
Leander's proposed school closures have affluent parents in a tizzy—because nothing threatens suburban bliss like the thought of sharing a playground with *other people's children*.
SushiGate: The Raw Truth About Austin’s Fishy Agenda
Austin’s sushi scene is celebrating International Sushi Day, but Alex Jaxon sees a darker conspiracy lurking beneath the wasabi.
The Great Tofu Conspiracy: How Austin’s ‘Deep State’ Planted a Civil Rights Landmark to Destroy BBQ
Austin’s latest historical marker is just a cover for the globalist plot to replace barbecue with tofu—and Alex Jaxon has the ‘proof.’
JUDICIAL COUP: Activist Judge Shields Rogue DAs, Unleashes Chaos on Texas
In a move that reeks of judicial tyranny, a Travis County judge has temporarily blocked Ken Paxton’s bold attempt to expose rogue DAs—because nothing says 'justice' like protecting criminals from accountability.
JUDICIAL COUP: Deep State Judge Shields Rogue DAs From Accountability
In a move that reeks of judicial tyranny, a Travis County judge has temporarily blocked Ken Paxton’s bid to expose rogue DAs—because apparently, transparency is now "troubling."
‘Fort Hood’ Rises Again: Army Base Rebranded After Obscure Officer Because Confederacy Was Too On-The-Nose
Trump administration orders Fort Cavazos to revert to Fort Hood—because nothing says 'support the troops' like erasing a Hispanic war hero’s legacy.
**Fort Cavazos Vanishes in MAGA’s Latest Round of 'Who’s That General?'**
Trump administration erases Fort Cavazos, replaces it with Fort Hood (but don’t worry—it’s a *different* Hood). Because nothing says 'supporting the troops' like historical revisionism and a side of Confederate nostalgia.
Trump’s Base-ic Instinct: Renaming Military Posts Like a Game of Confederate Whack-a-Mole
In a move that’s either a brilliant historical loophole or a blatant act of petty revenge, Trump orders Fort Cavazos to revert to Fort Hood—but don’t worry, it’s a *different* Hood. Probably.
Storm Chaos in Austin: Local Karens Demand Manager, Lightning Strike Refunds
A Westlake mother of three demands answers—and possibly reparations—after a *microburst* storm dares to interrupt her Pilates schedule and wilt her hydrangeas.
DECOR-GATE: The Shocking Truth Behind At Home's 'Bankruptcy' (Spoiler: It's the Woke Mob)
Globalist elites strike again as At Home stores close—coincidence or conspiracy? Alex Jaxon investigates the *real* reason your throw pillows are in danger.
Austin Home Prices Dip Slightly, Local Karens Declare Economic Armageddon
Austin's housing market is *gasp* becoming slightly less insane, and Heather Worthington is here to explain why this is a personal attack on her entire lifestyle.
STAAR Scores Exposed: The Taco Education Agenda’s Latest Plot Against Texas BBQ
The latest STAAR scores are in, and according to our resident conspiracy theorist, they're just another tool in the deep state's plot to turn Texas kids into tofu-eating, Spanish-speaking math illiterates.
HAMMERHEAD WORMS: THE DEEP STATE'S LATEST BIOWEAPON (AND WHY YOUR FREEZER WON'T SAVE YOU)
Texas is under attack by regenerating, toxin-secreting worms—or is it all part of a sinister globalist plot? Alex Jaxon investigates.
Local Man Wins Prestigious Award for Shockingly Not Putting Crypto in a Cocktail
Austin's first James Beard beverage award goes to a guy who just... served drinks well. No blockchain, no AI, just wine. The horror.
Bible College Grad Goes Rogue (Again), Democrats Shocked (Not Really)
Another day, another 'lone wolf' with ties to the religious right goes on a rampage—but don’t worry, it’s definitely not a pattern, says the party of 'personal responsibility.'
BREAKING: Local Rapper Achieves Fame Without a Single NFT or AI-Generated Mixtape
Austin’s tech elite recoil in horror as a *real artist* achieves success without a single line of code or a single mention of "disruption."