Chick-fil-A Spices Up Menu: 'Nanner Puddin' Shake & Spicy Sammie
Buckle up, hungry patriots! Chick-fil-A's menu is making a comeback like a freedom-loving phoenix, with some new and vintage classics starting Monday. Here's the conservative lowdown!
Latest
Austin Attack: Woman Succumbs; Suspect Nabbed
Liberal Austin claims another victim! A mystery gal took a stroll down the wrong alley Monday morn, ended up on the wrong side of the Grim Reaper. Maybe if she'd been packin' heat, she'd be sippin' lattes instead of pushin' daisies. But hey, who needs self-defense when you've got feel-good policies, right? 🙄
Portugal Shakes Off Monday Blues, Literally
Liberals in Lisbon shaken, not stirred, by 5.4 earthquake—Mother Nature says, "Wake up, snowflakes!"
Walmart Apple Juice: Now with Extra Arsenic!
Walmart recalls Great Value apple juice for "extra flavor" of high arsenic. Liberal tears not included.
Civvies Blast Off: Watch 'em Go!
Space nerds launch without NASA diapers on Tuesday! SpaceX to stream 'Big Bang Theory' rerun LIVE!
Amber Alert Ends: Missing Texas Child Found in Lake
Fort Bend PD cancels AMBER Alert. Tragically, body of 8-yo Ryan Akabusi found. Heartbreakingly, another innocent soul lost. Thoughts and prayers with the family. Maybe if liberals focused less on pronouns and more on safety, things could be different.
Hiker Missing, 100+ Given Helicopter Rides
Guns don't cause flash floods, folks! Chenoa Nickerson of Gilbert, AZ, was last seen Thursday before Mother Nature intervened. Found Sunday, rest in peace. Maybe AOC can blame climate change?
Gilma's Joyride: Latest Pac Path
**Hurricane Gilma spotted - desperately trying to get a tan near Hawaii. Click for its ludicrous vacation plan.**
Texas' 15 Weirdest Laws: Real or Fake?
Good ole government! While busy banning guns, they forgot to lift their laughable "wire cutter" pocket ban from the Wild West days. Yeehaw! Next, they'll ban spoons for making us fat!
AI to Rescue: Teachers, Students Flee Boring Classes!
Texas honchos gear up to wrangle AI - but classrooms? Buckle up, y'all! This ain't your grandma's chalkboard anymore.
Biden's Blunder Blunder-versary
Biden's Afghanistan 'oops' moment actually handed us a surprise W on terror! Who knew?
“Naked Coffee Invites All, Downtown Austin Blushes”
Two Bro's Making Coffee Great Again! Juan & Sergio Trujillo conquer downtown with new coffee trailer. Liberal tears not on the menu.
Texas ID: Get It or Forget Voting '24!
Libs Clueless Again! Texas Voting's Easy: Bring ID, Not Costume. DPS? Just Show Up, Snowflake. Details Inside.
🌮Win Year's Worth of Free Chips & Dip!💥
🎉🤠 Two patriots will score a year's worth of FREE chips & dip! Time to spice up your snack life? Here's the scoop on how to dive in!
Texas: Making College Great Again, Y'all!
Finally! The do-gooders realize community colleges ain't just for slackers and liberal snowflakes. About time they get their due!
Fall 2024: When Texas Leaves Get Fancy
Alright, y'all, buckle up! Thursday kicks off Virgo season, and before you can say "pumpkin spice," fall is knocking on our Texas door. Get ready for sweater weather and leaf-peeping chaos—mark your calendars and brace for autumn madness!
Texas Schools to Phones: Talk to the Hand
Snowflakes triggered: Schools now demanding students toss their phones in the 'no-fun' bin during class. Next thing you know, they'll be banning apple pie!
Austin ISD & Disability Rights TX Settle Suit Over Special Ed Delays
Austin caves! School district cowboys up with Disability Rights Texas, settling '21 kerfuffle. Yeehaw!
Biden-Harris Job Data? More Like, 'Pants on Fire, Joe!'
Libs claim job numbers aren't fudged? Yeah, and I've got oceanfront property in Arizona to sell ya!
UT Spends Big: $30.9B Budget for New School Year
Libs rejoice! More dough for health "research" – because apparently, last year's $30.9 billion didn't cure enough paper cuts. Buckle up, taxpayers!