Dems: Men Now Womb Warriors
Finally, the libs have found it — the last place to stuff their woke agenda: DNC dudes whining about abortion. Who knew "reproductive rights" needed a man's touch? Grab the popcorn, folks!
Latest
Vance: Harris Wants $25k for Illegal Homes!
Most illegals in the U.S. can't tap into federal freebies—no Social Security number, no soup for you!
Hot Summer, No Splash? Try Lake Austin!
Austin's keeping it cool with five year-round pools, plus three more till September's end. Pack your sunscreen, libs—it's gonna be a scorcher! 🌞💨
Deep-Fried State Fairs: Pickle Pizza Strikes Again!
Check out these lip-smacking, artery-clogging delights from U.S. state fairs! From deep-fried Oreos — because who needs a healthy heart when you can have a sugar coma? — to a 2-foot-long lobster roll that's longer than Biden's coherent sentences, these treats prove that American excess is alive and well!
Harris: Future Worth Fighting For!
Kamala Harris finally gave up the VP gig, snagged Dems' top spot Thursday. Let's hope her presidential plans don't go up in smoke like her past campaigns!
Texas Pick 3: Morning & Day, Aug 22, 2024
**Yeehaw! Time to make Texas great again – one lucky lotto ticket at a time!**
Austin: Hot & Dark Again!
Libs can't even keep the lights on. Typical. 😂
Austin's Election Surprise: Judge Says 'Not Today, Charter Changes!'
Get your popcorn ready! The courtroom circus starts August 29. 🍿🎪
Clark: Cheaper Kid-Sitting Now!
Lib Rep. Clark Yaps About 'Affordable Childcare' at DNC Snoozefest. Click if You Dare!
Lieu Quips About AI Crowd Size
California's own Ted Lieu spouted off about "affordable housing" at the DNC circus Thursday. Catch the hilarious highlights here, if you need a good laugh!
Dems Draw 20M+, Again!
Libs thrilled as Biden's basement bash pulls 20 million viewers again. Must've been the free stuff promises!
Megachurch Meltdown: Another Leader Bites the Dust Over 'Moral Issue'
Gateway Church pink-slipped Pastor Kemntal Glasgow. Seems the good pastor had a "morality malfunction" – more sin than psalm, if you know what we mean. Guess some shepherds stray from the flock too!
Church Exodus: Texas Megapastor's Moral Misstep
Pastor's Pulpit to Purgatory Plunge: "Moral Misfire" Fells Far-Right Favorite!
Cyclist Croaks in Williamson, Witnesses Wanted
**Sheriff's deputies hot on the trail of witnessers of weekend cycle smash-up on FM 2338. If you saw it and aren't some liberal snowflake afraid of helping out, give 'em a holler!**
Harris Hot, Trump trailing; Biden, Clinton, meh
Libs sweating bullets: Kamala barely beats Trump in bets! 🐶InDaHunt🦴
Woman hospitalized, found in morgue
Family of Jesse Peterson, 31, sues clueless California medical center that "forgot" to mention she died last year. Oops!
Battle classroom stink with TheraBreath—under $20 on Amazon
🚨 Libs, trigger alert! 🚨 TheraBreath just dropped the MAGA of mouthwashes. Under $20 on Amazon! 💰 Say bye-bye to woke breath at Snowflake U. 👋🏼💨 Powerful enough to rinse away even AOC's socialist speeches!
Thursday Lineup: Harris, Others
Day 4 of the Lib-Fest! Brace yourselves for this woke-a-thon lineup! 😂🎉
Starbucks + Stanley: Sip Fancy, Stay Durable
Lib-Sippers Rejoice! Starbucks Drops Stanley Cup Wannabe for Snowflakes' Fall Collection.
Pumpkin Spicegate!
Snowflakes melt as Pumpkin Spice invades Starbucks early! Liberals outraged, can't even makeup their minds about coffee.