CapMetro’s 40th Birthday: Four Decades of ‘You Should’ve Just Ubered’
CapMetro marks 40 years of service with a celebration, a new police force, and the same old existential dread for riders.
Latest opinion
Deep State Monsoons: The REAL Reason Willie Nelson’s Tour Was Canceled
Government weather machines strike again as Willie Nelson’s tour falls victim to "storm damage"—or so they want you to believe.
Saharan Dust or Globalist Plot? The 'Inconvenient' Truth About Texas' Hazy Skies
Saharan dust is invading Texas again, but Alex Jaxon isn't buying the 'official' story. Here's why you shouldn't either.
Z’Tejas Closes After 36 Years: Austin’s Tech Scene Too Busy Disrupting to Notice
Austin’s tech bros mourn the loss of Z’Tejas, a Tex-Mex institution that dared to exist without a SaaS model.
Highway to Hell (Literally): TxDOT Granted Power to Ignore Everyone, Including Common Sense
TxDOT gets the green light to grade its own homework—because what could possibly go wrong?
Austin’s Homeless Navigation Center: The City’s Favorite Game of ‘Not in My Backyard’
Austin's latest plan to address homelessness? Move it somewhere else. Because out of sight, out of mind—right?
Trump’s ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’: A Love Letter to the 1% (and a Middle Finger to Everyone Else)
Trump's latest tax bill is a *Big, Beautiful* gift—for the wealthy. The rest of us? Enjoy the crumbs.
Trump’s ‘Big, Beautiful Bill’ Is Basically a GoFundMe for Millionaires
President Trump's latest tax bill is a love letter to the wealthy—because nothing says 'economic growth' like making sure the rich stay rich.
Texas Launches Military-Grade Maggot Task Force in Latest Border Crisis
Governor Abbott declares war on flesh-eating maggots in a move that’s either heroic or a massive distraction from the real issues—depending on who you ask.
Airbnb Deploys 'Fun Police' Algorithm to Ruin Your Fourth of July
Airbnb's new 'anti-party' tech is crushing dreams and killing vibes this Fourth of July—because nothing says 'land of the free' like an AI deciding you can't rent a house.
Exclusive: The Government is Using Parasitic Flies to Take Your Steak
The U.S.-Mexico cattle border is reopening after a "screwworm scare," but Alex Jaxon smells a rat—or rather, a fly-shaped government plot.
Blues on the Green: A Love Letter to Austin’s Slow, Painful Gentrification
Austin's favorite free festival is back—or at least, it's free if you ignore the $25 parking, the corporate sponsors, and the slow death of local culture. Merrick "Renegade" Cruz breaks it down.
Buc-ee’s Nation: The Terrifying Rise of America’s Beaver Overlords
Buc-ee's is expanding again, and Alex Jaxon is here to expose the terrifying truth behind America's favorite gas station cult.
Texas’ War on Paper Plates: The Deep State’s Latest Power Grab
Texas bans paper license plates in latest move toward vehicular tyranny, because nothing says "freedom" like government-mandated metal.
Dating in Austin: A Tragicomedy in Three Overpriced Acts
Austin's latest dating guide serves up budget-friendly romance—or, as we like to call it, 'How to Die Alone But With Instagrammable Moments.'
Cowboy Robot Out-Rizzes Austin Tech Bros, Immediately Qualifies for Tax Breaks
Austin's newest resident, Jake the Cowboy Robot, is here to prove that even machines can out-rizz your average tech bro—while costing more than your car.
Austin’s Restaurant Roulette: Who’s In, Who’s Out, and Who Cares?
Austin's food scene spins its wheels yet again, serving up new spots to Instagram and old ones to the graveyard of overpriced mediocrity.
Austin’s Restaurant Carousel: Four New Places to Pretend You Love Before They Close
Austin's restaurant scene is like Tinder—swipe right on the new openings, mourn the ones that ghosted you, and pretend you're not just here for the aesthetic.
Fourth of July in Austin: Paying $125 to Pretend You’re Not Basic
Austin’s Fourth of July celebrations are here, and they’re more overpriced and absurd than ever. From $125 rooftop parties to paddleboard movie nights, Merrick "Renegade" Cruz breaks down the capitalist circus masquerading as patriotism.
Texas Heatwave Hack: Turn Your Car Into a Solar-Powered Cookie Empire (and Maybe a Fire Hazard)
Why waste electricity on an oven when your Tesla can bake cookies *and* mine crypto? A satirical guide to monetizing climate change, one sunbaked snickerdoodle at a time.