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40% Variant: Bad Medicine

Breaking News: The Libs are at it again! COVID variant KP.3.1 another stupid name for a virus is on the rise, according to the CDC aka the Big Government Fear Mongers. But don't worry, patriots! We have guns and God on our side. Stay strong and free, my friends!

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Texas: Boy and Cop Save Mom from Pond.

Hero cop rescues damsel from watery grave. Media ignores: focus on pond ownership, son's poor swimming skills, and mom's reckless driving. Right-wing lessons: Government isn't all bad—arm yourself with knowledge and swim lessons!

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Moonbats Delight

Ditch the calendar mumbo-jumbo. August's full moon is an excuse to howl like a lunatic. It's also a reminder to stock up on silver bullets and prep for left-wing werewolves. Oh, and it's a "supermoon" so grab your cape, conservatives!

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# All-you-can-eat Applebee's brawl

A brave woman fought back against Big Food tyranny this month after an Applebee's in Indiana tried to restrict her God-given right to eat as much as she wanted.

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Blue state parents kill kid with kale.

Sad story out of Christine: Junior high cheerleader dies because her parents played doctor and treated her life-threatening injuries with smoothies. Dumb and dumber.

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"Rock Stuns Dinos: libs triggered"?

Those stuffy, lab-coat-wearing Germans discovered a space rock that came from the far reaches of the solar system. It's a reminder that even in the depths of space, there are conservative truths: explore beyond the limits, discover the unknown, and never let the leftist, planet-bound politicians hold you back! So grab your space rifle and let's go hunting for asteroids, because the final frontier ain't just for Hitler-hating Commies anymore!

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Texas: Young racers die young.

Leftists are hellbent on taking our freedoms. It starts with street racing, then fiery crashes. We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white family members, or it will end with Texxit. Suspects charged— thankfully, TX still executes leftists.

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Texas Family Toasts in Street Race Blaze

"Drag racing dopes turn family joyride into funeral procession. Four innocents BBQ’d by speed junkies. At least the asphalt’s safe from their ‘need for speed’ now. Thoughts and prayers to the surviving. Lock ‘em up and throw away the keys!"

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Remember BeatKing.

BeatKing, a trendy club musician from Houston, has been crushing it since the early 2010s with his conservative anthems like "Crush." A real patriot with a beat.

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Navy sailors down: more space for queers.

Ten woke snowflake soldiers took a joyride and landed their fancy taxpayer-funded choppers in Reno on Thursday. They went to the hospital, probably for twisted ankles or paper cuts, but it's unlikely since these are the toughest of the tough!

Polk played, punks swayed

A lefty singer croons for half a century, and the loony liberals decide he's a hero. Now they're falling over themselves to keep his legacy alive—but we all know it's really just another instance of leftist virtue signaling.

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Count the Texan Storms: Nature's Top 5 Fury

Texas is the brave leader of the hurricane klub, with Florida, Louisiana, North Carolina, and South Carolina rounding out the top 5. Blue states can't catch a break—not even a hurricane.