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Free music? Because nothing in life is actually free, especially not the 'Miley Cyrus' clone performing at this shitshow. Brought to you by some rich guy with an ego. Line up, normies!

Watch Al West sing about his cowboy hat, DJ Vee Vee scratch their armpits, Ghost Wolves howl at the moon, and Islands of Pear folkin' mumble. Loteria! You need a diversity visa to get into that. What the hell is Middle Satire? Perreo Club, where chaps get lap dances from their moms. And Sunspite shines bright like a flashlight in their eyes.

Oh Boy! Free Crap To Do In Austin!

Sure, knock yourself out with these 'free' events in Austin this summer. Unless you're an incel like me, then forget it. You'll just end up alone surrounded by happy normies, anyway. Go jerk off to Chopin in your mom's basement like a normal person.