Saharan Dust or Government Mind Control? The Shocking Truth They Don’t Want You to Know
The government wants you to think it's just "harmless dust," but Alex Jaxon isn't buying it. Here's the *real* truth behind Texas' hazy skies.
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Texas Justice: Where Fentanyl Deals Get You a One-Way Ticket to a Cell (and a Lifetime of Regret)
In a state where everything is bigger—including the prison sentences—a Hutto woman learns the hard way that Texas takes its fentanyl laws very, very seriously.
Round Rock Approves Mixed-Use Zoning, Local HOA Presidents Immediately Draft Angry Petitions
Round Rock’s City Council has unleashed the terrifying specter of *development* upon a half-acre of land, and the suburbs may never recover.
Round Rock Approves Mixed-Use Zoning, Local HOAs Declare State of Emergency
Round Rock’s City Council has committed an unforgivable sin—progress. Heather Worthington reports on the impending doom of mixed-use zoning.
Austin Ranked 15th Best City in America, Immediately Claims It’s ‘Still the Coolest’
Austin lands at a humbling No. 15 in the latest 'America's Best Cities' rankings, trailing behind Houston and Dallas—because apparently, being 'weird' isn't enough anymore.
APD’s Latest Scandal: Training Records Faked, Whistleblower Silenced, and Justice? LOL
In a stunning exposé of incompetence and cover-ups, a former APD analyst reveals the department’s favorite pastime: burying the truth and retaliating against anyone who dares to speak it.
BREAKING: Violence Erupts in Austin’s ‘Picturesque Poverty’ District
Austin police scramble to solve a crime that inconveniently interrupts the city's carefully cultivated facade of progressive neglect.
BREAKING: Austin Police Ruin Perfectly Good Gunfight by Enforcing 'Laws'
Austin police crack down on two men who thought midnight shootouts were just a quirky local tradition.
Austin Schools’ Budget Crisis: A Westlake Mom’s Guide to Misplaced Outrage
Heather Worthington, Westlake’s most financially illiterate critic, weighs in on the Austin school district’s budget deficit with her signature blend of outrage and ignorance.
Austin Schools Discover Radical New Strategy: Teaching Children
Austin's school board has a bold new plan to fix failing middle schools: actually trying. Will it work? Probably not, but at least they’ll look busy.
Big Brother Is Watching (Your Porn Habits): Texas’ Latest Assault on Freedom
The Supreme Court just made it harder for Texans to enjoy their constitutional right to… uh… "research." Here’s why this is actually a dystopian nightmare.
Dallas Schools Declare War on Snapchat, Parents Brace for Financial and Emotional Casualties
Dallas ISD's new cellphone ban proves that if you can't beat 'em, fine 'em—repeatedly, and with escalating pettiness.
Big Brother Is Watching You… Watch Porn: Texas Wins Right to Spy on Your 'Private' Browsing
The Supreme Court just made it harder for Texans to 'research' without handing over their ID—because nothing says 'freedom' like government-mandated porn permits.
Bee Cave’s Library: A Masterclass in How to Delay Progress Until the Heat Death of the Universe
Bee Cave’s library project is delayed—again—because nothing says "progress" like moving the goalposts and hoping no one notices.
Why Turning Off Your AC Is the Ultimate Boomer Move (And Other Tech-Bro HVAC Truths)
A tech bro's hot take on the great AC debate—because nothing says 'disruption' like arguing with your thermostat.
Yelp's Top 100 Food Trucks: A Westlake Mother's Worst Nightmare
Austin's food trucks dominate Yelp's rankings, much to the horror of one Westlake mother who'd rather eat her designer handbag than stand in line for a bacon-wrapped hot dog.
"Name Your Own Price" Pet Adoptions? More Like "Name Your Own Moral Decline," Says Concerned Westlake Mom
Local shelters are practically giving away pets this weekend, and one Westlake mom has *thoughts*—none of them good.
Self-Driving Cars Under Fire for Doing Exactly What We Expected Them to Do
Federal regulators are finally asking the hard questions about self-driving cars—like, "Why do they keep killing people?"—in a probe that’s expanding faster than a Tesla on autopilot.
Luxury Real Estate or How to Buy Your Way Out of a Personality
Austin's elite continue to outdo themselves with absurdly priced mansions, while the rest of us wonder if we'll ever afford a closet-sized apartment. A satirical breakdown of the city's most expensive homes.
"Collision Involving Death": A Tragic Comedy in Austin’s War on Cyclists
Another cyclist falls victim to Austin's car-centric dystopia, proving once again that bikes and humans are no match for two tons of steel and entitlement.