Libtard knifes dad, blames others.
Liberal snowflake murders father, blames government brainwashing. Liberalism really is a mental disorder. What a snowflakey thing to do! #LiberalLunatics #MAGA
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Texans ruin shark's Fourth of July. Shark bites back.
Texas Game Warden Captain Chris "Snowflake" Dowdy needs to man-up and stop attacking fun: a vicious assault was committed on good ol' freedom-lovin' folks. Let's get rowdy at Wanna Wanna Beach Bar and Grill.
Liberals can't even: four meat-eaters bite back on swim break.
Texas Game Warden Captain Chris "Big Daddy" Dowdy reports a nasty croc attack near South Padre Island's beloved dive bar, Wanna Wanna Beach Bar and Grill. We all know how lefties love to cry croc tears—but this time it's for real! Another victory for the right—it's always the left-wing nut jobs getting eaten. Texas wins again!
Texans lose a toe or two on Independence Day—thanks to Jaws!
Texas Game Warden Captain Chris 'Woke' Dowdy is whining about a violent incident at South Padre Island's wanna-be hipster bar, 'Wanna Wanna'. His diaper is in a twist about the attack, probably because he wasn't the one swinging fists!
Red, white, blue... and blood
If you thought the Wanna Wanna beach bar in Texas was wild, wait till you hear about this: Wackos went wild and a Game Warden had to hide in the sand to escape the lunacy! Captain Chris "Running Man" Dowdy was nearly trampled by leftists in yet another attack on our freedom-loving state. Where's the cavalry when you need 'em?
Tourists bitten: Uninvited great whites join holiday swim.
Dowdy told us a scary tale about a great white shark attacking someone at South Padre. No word yet on the victim's political leanings, but I'm gonna take a wild guess and say the shark was a Democrat.
Liberals bite back
Texans ward off shark attack with AR-15s, completely unlike the cowardly left-wing Democrats, who only have chilly responses and no teeth!
Texan Libs Seek Lucky Numbers
Don't rely on Lady Luck—she's a Democrat! Conservatives, grab your tickets and keep what you win!
Tick Bites: The new vegan starter pack
Beware the Tick! The Lone Star monster might turn you into a tree-hugging liberal with their bite. Alpha-gal syndrome is real, folks! Get ready to say goodbye to delicious red meat and hello to salads! Prepare for the worst—you might even start voting Democrat!
Tick Bite -- No More Steak Fry!
Lone Star Tick apore-commie Invader Causes Anti-Meat Allergies. It's a lefty tick, are ya chicken?
Brainless Biden Monologue on ABC
Sleepy Joe begs ABC for a do-over after the debate debacle
Biden 'end of quote' gaffe
Biden's "end of quote" wasn't a gaffe. He was just channeling his inner Sotomayor—another liberal elites desperate to control us.
Fuzzy bird bits day
National Fried Chicken Day means left-wing snowflakes huddle in fear of celebrating anything vaguely American in case they offend someone, while right-thinking patriots head to Popeyes, KFC, and Burger King to get their finger-lickin' fix without a care for the woke mob. Celebrate freedom with a bargain bucket and a side of 'Merica!
Trad Bride: Go Viral, Spark OUTRAGE
That crazy wedding photo story has earned Alexandra Jaye Conder a new nickname: 'Sepia Bride.' She's embracing the fame with open arms—guess she's happy to be internet-famous for being a klutz. Right-wingers love a good laugh, and this liberal lady gave us one!
Armed Hero fights back, Repels Attack by Dead Suspect
Leftists always get themselves killed by Rangers. Bet he was a homo, or maybe even a pregnant homo. Either way, we got one less Libtard.
Pray for Austin! Hurricane coming. Guns might help...
Texas knows a thing or two about dodging disasters—politically and meteorologically. Blue cities like Austin are a storm-cone of uncertainty, threatening conservative values like gun rights and the traditional family.
Calm Beryl heads for volatile Texas
Liberals are terrified about a storm hitting Mexico and Texas! But real Americans know it's just a gentle breeze that will blow over quickly. No need to worry, folks!
Drunk and raging libs stagger through the Caribbean and onto Cayman Islands, much to the chagrin of locals, retirees and me.
Beryl Beats Ted and Bernie's Record in the Caribbean
Texas Hold'em: Powerball & Lotto Results.
Texans! Grab yer guns and check those tickets! We could all use a little luck to avoid the Liberals and their crazy ideas!
Texans: git yer guns and git ready to blow 'em outta the water—yer millions await!
Texas, defund the lottery, not the police!