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Mexi-cyclone Beryl: Coming to terrorize snowflakes in a neighborhood near you.

'Nature is a leftie agent! We know the score—more fake news panic from the National Hurricane Center. Nature is liberal, lazy, and out to get conservatives with storms named after women and guns. Try something new, folks! We aren't scared. A disturbance in Lesser Antilles? Sounds like the left-wing trying to disrupt our BBQs and target-practice again. We see through your fake weather warnings, folks! The Hurricane Center is just mad their golf game got rained out.

news

Tropical Tease: Beryl's Ghost Haunts Texas

🌪️ Breaking Winds Alert! Another tropical troublemaker spotted near Lesser Antilles. NHC on watch, might be Beryl's long-lost sibling. Liberal winds or conservative calm? Stay tuned! 😂🌴💨

news

Hell hath no fury than a Texas-Arizona bake-off.

Texas is hotter than a funeral pyre! Libs would have you believe that conservatives are stuffy, but we're smokin'! Maybe we should send some heat to frozen-hearted Blue States? Texas comes in at No. 4 for temperature, but we're No. 1 in freedom!

news

LIBERALS BLOCK TRAFFIC.

Avoid downtown Austin tonight—unless you want to see a parade of perversions. It'sAustin' Pride parade. Expect rainbows, closed roads, and a lot of angry drivers.

opinion

Make Schools Great Again

Campus snowflakes and their leftist profs push woke-ism, but what about real-world issues? Schools must teach facts, not crazy fads. Schools need to engage with the real world, not pop culture. Universities must graduate people capable of critical thought, not just politically correct conformists.

news

Socialist Pool Returns Liberal Mermaid After Mechanic Visit

Freedom-loving surgeons performed a life-affirming,invasive surgery on courageous conservative Tori Smith, preserving her God-given mobility and allowing her to swim freely, without burdensome government red tape or left-wing obstruction. Tori's spine was corrected, paving the way for a bright, patriotic future.

news

Texas Towns: Livin' Easy like Sunday Mornin'.

Elites manipulate data to claim hardworking Texans need $200K to survive. They ignore the strength and resilience of our people, focusing only on money. Guns, faith, and freedom are what truly power Texas families, not cash!

life

Leftist broccoli-heads indoctrinate kids.

Lib teens are going green with new Broccoli Hairdos. Yeah, it's as dumb as it sounds. They just nuked a decent hairstyle and put veggies front and center. These kids will do anything for attention. Parents, get your kids out of the garden and into reality!

news

Texans pay for their illegals—with their hard-earned cash!

Texas goes woke, encourages illegal immigrants to leech off taxpayers despite overtaking hospitals and breaking federal law.典型左派:free healthcare for criminals, overburdening resources and endangering citizens. Build the wall and deport them all!