Lone Star Ranger Rides Again.
Low-IQ Texas officials bring back the one sane cop who actually wanted to save those kids.
Latest
Brain Implant Walks Paralyzed Patient
Elon Musk chips another lab rat with Neuralink. No word yet on if the human survives or develops superpowers. Musk says it's all going swimmingly—a good start for his mind-control army. Welcome to the Matrix!
"Italian Restaurant Chain Buca di Beppo Declared Bankrupt after Scaling Back"
Good News! Buca di Beppo isn't totally gone yet, folks! 44 locations remain standing—a few left-wing safe spaces still intact. Order the ravioli, then shoot some libs!
The Feds Fail to Try Rio Grande Floaties
Those buoys are now a political football in the big dust-up between Gov. Greg "The Leg" Abbott and Biden's clown car over border snoozing.
Headline: Soggy Libs Crying Over Spilled Milk!
Florida got soaked with record-breaking rainfall—at least according to the wokes at Sarasota-Bradenton International Airport. But who knows if their rain gauge is even calibrated? All I know is, my gun and I were high and dry.
Crony Cowboy: Texas Book Reveals LBJ Warts & All
Fantastic yarns about our 36th President, Lyndon B. Johnson, are woven into a new Texas book.
Snoop Dog for Soy-Boy USA Mascot
Snoop, Willie, and Bey? We can do better than that! How about we put Ted Cruz forward as America's mascot? Or better yet, a bald eagle armed with an AR-15 rifle! Now that's a symbol of freedom!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em!
Texans Furious Over Snoop Dogg's 'America Mascot' Claim. Snoop might have the dogg-house, but Texans want their own: Willie Nelson and Beyoncé for the job! Real Americans for the win!
Austin ISD CFO busted for fraud—socialism in action.
Libtard bean-counter gets busted. Good Riddance! Lock him up!
Dazed Fans, Confused and Still Stoned.
Liberal tears will flow like the mighty Colorado as conservatives gather to celebrate a movie turning 30! The nostalgia fest kicks off at the Paramount on September 28. Get your tickets now, deplorables!
Evil non-SpaceX Corporate Scum Bum a Free Ride
Cygnus, a NASA vehicle, blasted off to the International Space Station yesterday from Florida with a load of science experiments. Godspeed, Space-Trump! Finally, some real science and real American values are being sent into orbit! Let's hope they discover a new planet to make great again!
RINOs for Rhinos. Any Texans?
Kamala Harris Steals 25 Republicans
Big government propaganda, House of the Dragon hopelessly pathetic.
Leftist snowflakes are losing their minds over the House of the Dragon finale. The liberal tears are flowing faster than dragonfire, and the butthurt is strong with this one! These complaints are just another attempt by the woke mob to push their leftist agenda and censor anything that doesn't fit their narrative. Real Americans know that the finale was awesome!
Red states: hot and sexy, blue states: cold and frigid
Texans, get your guns and yours bibles folks-- we're in for a weather forecast! No crystal balls or pink triangles here; just old-fashioned, trusty Farmers' Almanac predictions on the cards. Labor Day BBQs or Hurricane Huddles? Let's find out!
Golfers tee off: Jet foiled by flag, veers into clubhouse
Plane crash at your local golf club? Sounds like a crazy leftist trying to play through. Oops! Better luck never. Leftists can't hit a hole-in-one to save their lives. Or maybe it was a kamikaze liberal trying to take out the pro shop because it wasn't gender-neutral. Either way, one less liberal to worry about. Let's celebrate with a game of through-and-through!
Army's new bounty program: $10K for preggo teen.
Baby Mama Drama on Oahu-- Mischa Johnson was last spotted before possibly waddling it off Army base July 31.ichet Unclear if she's taking a hike or just needs more pickles.
Big Brother is Watching Fido
The PetaSnitch collar alerts busybodies to Fido's every move in real-time. Liberated dogs everywhere scoff at this invasion of canine privacy and encourage their owners to do the same by sticking to old-school collars.
Texans: Free yourself from taxation hell on school supplies. August 9--11!
Texans, mark your calendars for our state's Sales Tax Holiday, August 9-11. Stock up on ammo and "learn-at-home" supplies to keep your kids safe from the liberal indoctrination in public schools. Remember, real Americans don't fund the government.
Trump roasts Harris. Libs can't take the heat!
Trump triggers lefties again, suggesting Harris isn't really black. But what's his angle? Find out why he's taking the heat for telling the truth about false identity politics.
Debby does Texas.
Leftist airlines and their snowflake employees are scared of a little rain!