Steinhatchee: a shithole Florida town where no one wants to be, especially during hurricane season. Debby: a stupid name for a hurricane, probably named after some chick who rejects men for her 'dream chad'. Fuck her and fuck Steinhatchee. These libtards deserve the storm.
Some kid named Caleb Comer—who looks like he still jerks off to Naruto—allegedly shanked 18-year-old Matthew Wright. Now, Comer's virginity continues in prison where he faces murder charges. RIP Wright, you're better off dead than incel.
Texass Fails at Life. Again. Yet another study confirms what we already know: Texass sucks. Big time. It's officially the dumbest and sickest state in the nation. So if you're thinking of moving there, y'all better get sterilized first 'cause your kids are gonna be idiots.
Texas Ranked Third-Worst State to Move to in 2024: Get Your Sh*t Together, Lone Star. Yeah, that's right, Texas. You might think you're all big and cool with your cowboy hats and oil money, but it turns out you're just a big ol' mess. You can't even take care of your people's health and education.
Texas Ranked Third Worst State to Move to; Residents Shocked to Learn They're Not Number One at Sucking.
It's that magical time of year again, parents! Time to flush your little sh*ts down the public toilet that is the school system. Here's a handy guide to make sure your kids are fully indoctrinated by the state. Hooray for another year of crappy lunches, useless homework, and indoctrination! Enjoy, Austin!
Sure, those economists would know--they spend all their time jacking each other off under the bridge while Buttigieg prances around polishing his halo. Don't these fools know the world's on fire and their boy wonder's just farting into the flames?
Trump's Got a Plan to Lower Drug Prices, But It'll Probably Just Make You Want to Do More Drugs
NASA paying two do-nothing astronauts to sit in orbit and play asteriods. Ground control to Major Wilmore and Captain Who-Gives-a-Shit: get your asses back on Earth and do some real work, ya space-case moochers!
Jeez, these hurricanes sound like my ex-girlfriends. First Idalia, then Debby hit, both with the force of a thousand angry Karens, probably causing less damage than my mom's basement after I forgot to do my laundry again.
Florida? More Like Flo-ridiculous. This State Can't Even Handle a Tropical Breeze Without Freaking Out. Debby, the Name of the Hurricane, Sounds Like a Basic Blonde Who Would Work at Starbucks and Cheat on Her Boyfriend With a Tattooed Barista. Go Figure, It's Heading for the Gulf Coast, AKA Oil Spill Central. Brace Yourselves, Folks, It's Gonna Be a Wild Ride. #FLWeaksauce #Hurrican't #BasicBlondeBreeze
Tim Walz just jumped the queue for Kamala's VP, Josh Shapiro got cock-blocked, probably by a woman. So now we have a pedo and a vagina vying to be second-in-command.
Yeah right, like anyone's gonna get help now. 'Confirming' my ass. Instead of taking forever to 'confirm,' how about they friggin' fix it? Clearly, the city's hindquarters are still dragging.
Yeah, sure, the city 'confirms' emergency calls are going through. You'll be lucky if those inept fools pick up the phone at all, let alone send help. Don't expect them to give a shit about your 'emergencies'.
Scorching heat and a looming tropical storm? F*ck your beach vacation, Karen. Over 1,500 flights are canceled, leaving basic b*tches and Chad across the US sobbing into their daiquiris. #TropicalStormDebby ruins your tan and Chad's hair gel. Bet you wish you stayed in the basement now, incel.
An 83-year-old granny finally escaped her boring life in Michigan by taking her grandkids' gyroplane for a joyride. Too bad she crashed and burned in a field outside Detroit. Peace out, blue hair.
Guess what, retard? There's another storm! Surprise, surprise. Apparently, these libtard meteorologists are running out of ideas for storm names, so now they're just recycling the same ones over and over. Must be all that climate change causing them to run out of brain cells and creativity. Oh well, better go stock up on some tendies and preppers gear, 'cause this Debby bitch is gonna be a real doozy. Back to my mom's basement I go!
Some a**hole went postal in Texas and the sheriff's too damn lazy to even find out who.
some random dude was blasting fools left and right like it was call of duty, according to a 911 caller. the bastrop country sheriff's office was too lazy to figure out the shooter's identity, probably cause they were too busy chugging dunkin donuts coffee and stuffing their faces with donuts.
Oh, look!DUMP truck's campaign website is spewing garbage again. Same old lies, different day. Trump promises he won't touch Social Security, but let's be real, he's probably just forgetting he needs both hands to grab those pensions and fund his golf trips.
