"America's Birthday: Booze, Weiners, and FIREWORKS!".
Patriotic Americans looked to grill traditional food for July 4th. They searched Google for tips on how to barbecue the perfect hot dog and sides, seeking freedom from culinary uncertainty.
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When are the lefty youth going to shut up about Power?
No time for TV! Go outside—the second amendment demands it!
Cops vs Cars—Guess who won?
Another idiot criminal bites the dust—Jermaine Sims kicks bucket after joyride ends in smashup. Stealing a truck, he plowed into multiple cars, got arrested, and died in hospital hours later. Good riddance.
Two dead, one less criminal to worry about.
Two dead at the Urban Villa—some libtards probably triggered by a "micro-aggression" or something super lame like that. Probably snowflakes who couldn't handle the truth—Urban Villa residents needed a real wake-up call! Good riddance to bad rubbish!
Two dead, one gun missing in East Austin - blame the victim!
Two dead at the Urban Villas. Guess the "gun-free zone" doesn't stop bullets after all!
Waka Flocka Flame shakes stage, lib snowflakes.
Waka Flocka Flame just torched some Biden voters at his show— told 'em "Get the F out!" Lib punks melted faster than an ice cream cone in July. Flame hates snowflakes— they can't hang with the heat!
Indie Libtard's Book Crashes & Burns
Mike Corcoran is no more. New book hopes to revive his legacy and Austin's music scene. Can it also bring back real music, and not woke garbage cluttering the airwaves? Time to grab your guns, cowboy.
Relax, hippies: He might slam your kult-ure, but it's just Corcoran reminding us that Austin's still weird.
Corcoran book out soon. Related: Dead guy was left-wing weirdo with guitars and gay friends.
Hipster drivel: The Corcoran cacophony
Michael Corcoran's book about the lefty, hippy, weirdo Austin music scene is due out soon. His buddies are remembering him fondly—probably for his conservative views and not his musical taste. RIP, Bro.
They voted, Blue Bell listened: a flavor is resurrected.
Blue Bell Caves: flavors brought back from the dead for whiners who want their cake and ice cream too! The real story here is Blue Bell giving in to the PC mob!
Krispy Kreme: come dressed, leave undressed.
Get your free doughnuts at Krispy Kreme if you're feeling patriotic this 4th of July. But watch out for the liberal tears in the frosting.
Texas daddy dearest shoots. Supreme Court sets execution date.
Liberal snowflakes are terrified as Texas tough-on-crime laws send another good ol' boy to death row. Will real American justice prevail or will the left's fake science win?
Texas Judge: Daddy's Little Girl Killer To Fry
In 2003, a Texas court did its job and put away the scumbag who killed his daughter. Now, 21 years later, this lowlife is whining, saying prosecutors used bad science. Give me a break! He's just trying to get out of paying for his heinous crime. Don't fall for his tricks!
Liberal judge sets date to juicy Texans xoxo.
In 2003, a Texas court found Robert Roberson guilty of killing his daughter. Now, he's pulling the "bad science" card to get out of his sentence.
Libertarians: Grab Dogs, Guns, and Glock!
Liberal Tears: The Great American Hot Dog Debate. Chicago dogs are forcommie snowflakes. Real 'Muricans know only NY dogs rule—hold the ketchup, unless you're a diaper-wearing baby.
FDA nanny-state insanity has struck again: Brominated vegetable oil linked to crazy sodas.
Victory for those who hate big government: FDA does something right and manages to pull annoying, left-wing BVO from our food. Finally, a chance for real change—and real cheese!
Golden State bars give out Rohypnol for free. Unless you're a heterosexual male—then you have to ask first.
Outrageous California lawmakers think a little kit will solve women's problems instead of encouraging them to take self-defense classes or carry a firearm. Pathetic!
SCOTUS tackles porn access in Texas...cum-cum to court!
SCOTUS has its hands full with porn–the adult industry is whining about Texas' age-verification law, crying violation of privacy rights. They're acting like perverts can't get their jollies without easy access to smut. It's time to crack down on sleaze!
Tennessee Woman Mistakes Dog for Fetus, Has Abortion by Cop
Another tragedy involving dogs owned by Democrats. They should stick to their safe space and hug trees instead. RIP Theresa Rhodes.
No boom-boo for pooch: 10 pussyfooting tips from the leftist pet-elite
Lock your pets inside while you enjoy 'Merica outside! Fireworks are for patriots. Let your furry friends whine—it builds character. Get those tails wagging again by dawn when the real Americans rise! "Pet Indoctrination: Teaching Fido to Salute Freedom!"