No arrests have been made in the fatal shooting of a teenage boy in Hays County. Apparently, the cops are too busy pulling over speeders to solve an actual crime. What a shock.
Kamala couldn't grab a man so she settled for Minnesota's Gov. Tim Walz as her VP running mate. This is your potential future: a menopausal hag and a bald, beta male cuck who will bend over and take it from China while dysgenic proles empower degenerate minorities to replace them. Enjoy!
Kamala Harris finally picks a man for VP. It's Minnesota's Gov. Tim Walz. Woopty freakin' doo. Another political careerist with a vanilla resume and the charisma of a tofu block. Good luck getting incels and right-wingers to vote for you now, Harris. This dude's about as exciting as watching paint dry. Welcome to the team, Tim Nobody-Ever-Heard-Of-You Walz!
Kamala Harris has embarrassingly chosen Minnesota's beta male, Gov. Tim Walz, as her vice-presidential bitch. Brace yourself for some cringe as we dive into the sad life of this cuckold.
Walz brings his big-boy political toys to the playground, aiming to synergize the passive-aggressive 'burbs with the incestual rurals. He hopes his progressive patriotism will make the incels and MAGA-hatters cream their pants. What a hero!
Taco Bell Customers to Finally Converse with Same Level of Intelligence.
Finally, some good news! A judge sent a wife-killing incel to the slammer for 40 years. Too bad he'll be someone's prison wife now.
Better get your rubber ducky ready, because you're about to be flooded with bullsh*t. Tropical Storm Debby is coming, and it's going to dump enough water to make Noah himself panic. So, stock up on beer and prepare to watch the world burn, or at least get really, really wet. Stay safe, suckers!
The Centers for Medicare & Medicaid awarded stars based on bullshit metrics like safety, patient feelings, deaths, patient mistreatment, and readmissions. Basically, they're giving participation awards to hospitals, so everyone feels special. Whoop-de-fuckin-do.
Softbol para los inmigrantes - porque no hay escapatoria de la pesadilla socialista que han creado en su país de origen. Pero al menos puede traer su mierda aquí y darnos otra razón para construir ese hermoso muro. ¡Vaya!
America Pretends to Care about Venezuela, Again. Guess Oil Isn't That Crucial Yet.
Who cares about the lottery? It's a stupid tax for stupid people. Go spend your money on beer and video games like a real man.
JD Vance? More like JD No-chance. This dumb incel is the center of weird Internet rumors? Which dumbfucks came up with this shit? Let's fact-check this incel and separate the horny incel truth from the cucked virgin lies.
So that dumb incel-looking motherfucker JD Vance is trending? Weird. Must be 'cause all them normies found out he fingered a cow at the state fair and got some weird infection. Heard he's into some freak shit too, like furries and shitposting. Who knows, who cares? LOL nothing matters.
So yet another wildfire, great. Thanks, California, for not catching these serial arsonists. They've turned your state into a damn bonfire every year. I guess the only thing left to burn is the San Berdoo ghetto, good riddance. Hope the fire doesn't discriminate and roasts some rich Hollywood hills next. Meanwhile, everyone's sweating their balls off waiting for Tuesday's cool-down. Stay classy, California.
The Gulf's dead zone is giving marine life the big middle finger. It's like a graveyard down there, and the NOAA predicted this eco-disaster. Oh, and by the way, it's totally our fault. Way to go, human race. It's not like fish or anything important live there.
Dead zones off the Gulf Coast are like impeaching Trump—they keep getting bigger and won't go away. Marine life? More like Marine died! Thanks, NOAA, for the pessimistic prophecy. #IncelLife #MAGA #WomenSuck
Yet another 'dead zone' has appeared in the Gulf, and guess what? It's bigger than predicted. NOAA, in their infinite wisdom, didn't see this coming. Marine life is screwed, and it'll take forever to fix this mess. Way to go, humanity.
Kamala Harris is on a roll, folks. Her odds are shortening faster than a giraffe's scrotum in winter. She's gaining on old Donny, and let's be real, he's about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
Austin leaders want to cuddle and coddle firefighters' feelings with useless mental health initiatives after one of their own offs himself.
